For the Sake of Being Normal
by ShinigamiMailJeevas
Summary: Mello marries a wealthy, beautiful redhead. To bad he's not in love. And too bad she isn't a HE. But sometimes you do what you have to, to be "Normal" - MM. Yaoi.
1. Part 1: Section 1

**Disclaimer**: i do not own, never have owned, the anime Death Note.

**AN**: So here is the first section of Part 1. This was supposed to be a oneshot, but turned into a four shot, with split sections because it got so long. This does have yaoi/het in it, it also has sexual situations. If you do not like, do not read :) Dont be scared off by all the other marriage fic you might have read, or by the fact I stated there is het. Give this a chance please?

Also, the dots that split the story are time lapses, the more dots, the longer the lapse. (please shower my beta Amour en Rayures with love for putting up with me XD)

**Suggested listening**: Black Wedding **by** Meg & Dia

~Part 1~

-_Doing Time_-

Section 1

He stood there, stiff as a board, and listened to the man before him drone on an on, spouting off line after line of complete and utter _crap_. This day had been planned meticulously, months in advance with money practically thrown in people's faces to make it perfect. All for it to lead up to this particular point: "And do you, Mihael Lucian Keehl, take Samantha Eleanor Richardson as your lawfully wedded wife?"

Mello stared into Samantha's soft brown eyes full of love and excitement, her lips contorted into a smile most would have called beautiful with her full and painted lips, and then his eyes moved down to their lightly clasped hands.

"I do." And with that, he could feel his life slipping right through his fingers.

The entire church lit up with claps and cheers, even some whistles, as he kissed his _wife_. Her smile was stretched wide when they parted, and she leaned up for another quick peck on the lips before turning to the crowd of people they _knew_. Pictures were being taken and congratulations were thrown at them from every angle. Mello smiled and walked to the entrance with Samantha, her arm looped through his own.

It should have been the happiest day of his life—or something like that. The day he married the love of his life. Only that wasn't her.

He may have married Samantha, but she was not the woman of his dreams; she was his mother's. Samantha: the beautiful, smart, and equally wealthy woman of stature and good breeding who came from a family that had been friends with the Keehls for generations.

His mother had told him one night that he was, under no uncertain terms, going to a party with them for the Richardson's daughter who had just graduated from college. It was not going to be some huge event and only the families of their closest friends were invited. Mello had not been pleased that he was included.

Even more so when his mother had introduced him as Mihael to the redheaded beauty, then left him standing there with her. She had smiled, and though Mello had not melted at her voice or her looks, he had been less on edge. And then as an afterthought, he'd told her that his name was Mello, not Mihael.

Naturally his mother had pestered him about his opinion on Samantha, refusing to take his 'she is alright I suppose' at face value. Next thing he knew, he was taking her on their second date.

One little known fact about Mello: he was gay. Had been since he hit puberty and found that, yes, girls still had cooties, but boys, well they most certainly did not. He was gay, would always be gay. He liked cock, thank you very much. End of story.

But could never find it in himself to tell his mother. So when she hinted, rather loudly, that she was wondering when he would get married, he bit the bullet and began working on Samantha.

She was a sweet girl, and relatively smart, enough not to bore him. But she had one fatal flaw. She wasn't a man. So he was not particularly interested or happy with her. He could tolerate, but never love her.

"See you soon, sweetie. I'm so happy for you," his mother gushed as he got into the limo with _Sam_—an ironic shortening of her name, considering he was gay. He smiled and nodded before slamming the door shut, the sounds of everyone outside becoming muffled.

The inside of the limo, upon quick inspection, had a fully stocked mini bar, Though Mello ignored that in favor of the bottled water. There would be plenty of drinking later on, and he was actually thirsty at the moment.

They were headed for the reception; it was a little under a half an hour away, though they would not be immediately going inside. Sam would be changing into a shorter and more comfortable version of her dress. One that Mello thought had been a waste of money for a one-time thing. He looked over and her eyes quickly caught his, smiling brightly at him as she finished fixing her lipstick.

"Mihael-"

"Don't call me that. It's Mello, you know this."

Sam let out a sigh. "Mihael is your name, the one that you married me with." She smiled though it held just a hint of annoyance even as she stroked his arm through the jacket. He wanted to throw her off. He settled for narrowing his eyes.

"Mello or not at all." He stood his ground. He may have had to marry her, but she had long since known from the moment they started dating that calling him that name was a definite no. His name wasn't even something he liked his parents saying aloud. It was uncommon, exotic even, but intimate to him. And when she said it...it sent chills down his spine, and not in a good way.

"Alright, fine. Let's not fight on our wedding day, ok?" The way she said it inferred that it would be brought up again at a later date; Mello dreaded that day already. He could just see the fight that would incur.

She cuddled against him with her doe eyes gazing up at him and her full lips curved into just the tiniest of smiles. She thought it made herself look cute, and perhaps it might have if he hadn't caught the sight of her breasts practically popping out of her dress. The immediate and childish thought had been, 'ewww.'

Mello kissed her lips when prompted and mentally told himself to suck it up. He was in this situation because of his inability to stand up to his parents, mainly his mother. He had made the bed, now he would _lie _in it.

.

"And now introducing, Mr. and Mrs. Mihael Keehl!" At the introduction, they strode into the reception hall where there was more thunderous clapping directed at them. Mello had seen these moments on television and in movies a hundred times over, and his own had not varied by much, including the First Dance.

Mello had honestly never seen the point in it as most had already 'danced,' in various forms of the word, long before the wedding day. It was all formality to Mello.

He had left the song choice up to Sam even though the things she listened to were generally intolerable, considering it was pop music and classical; both types Mello was not fond of. As the first chords of the song echoed through the hall, all Mello could think was: "_Oh please let me be wrong."_

Sadly he wasn't.

Sam smiled softly at him, her long red hair swept up elegantly in a bun with only a few wisps hanging free. She held onto him with a strong grip almost as if to ensure he would stay for the entire dance. With the horrible song she had chosen, it would be a fight not to simply leave and sit down.

The song was played loud, and though the singer had gone on to do fairly good work, the current song was not one of them.

"_A moment like this-"_

"Makes me want to curl up and die," Mello muttered under his breath, low enough that even Sam would not hear it. It would be the last time he left something like music choice up to her at any sort of gathering.

The duration of the song was the longest minutes of his life thus far, and certainly at least third embarrassing. He made certain to keep his composure, however, even as the song faded into nothing.

"Wonderful choice, Samantha!" His mother's voice rose above everything as she came up to them, hugging Samantha and then him. She conversed with Sam and then Sam's mother, once she sauntered over. The dress she wore should have been worn by someone twenty years her junior and left too little to the imagination. He felt a migraine coming on already.

Sam's brother and father stood off to the side, and though Mello could have gone over to them, he stayed where he was despite the banal conversation that he wasn't a part of. He had met the two men a few times before and had quickly realized they had nothing in common with him, not even enough for polite discussions to be made. It made being around them uncomfortable.

The small group slowly inched their way to the head table, where the main bridal party was to sit and eat on display only for the mother and son dance to be announced. With a quiet sigh, he followed his mother onto the floor and held out his hand as expected.

He had hardly been there for any length of time, and he was already wishing for the night to be over with. The only consolation was that Sam hadn't wanted to stay too late, more than looking forward to the 'night' portion of their wedding. Mello clearly wasn't as thrilled with that as she was.

"Mihael," his mother greeted him as they stood for the dance. She had that look in her eyes again; the one that Mello knew spelled trouble for him.

"Your father and I are getting old. And, well, I will be perfectly blunt. When am I going to see some grandchildren?"

Mello gaped at her. "We haven't even gotten through the wedding night, and you are talking about kids already?" he hissed, making certain to keep his voice low and the conversation secret. He was _not _going to be pressured into this and definitely not so soon.

"Mihael, having children is not that bad, I assure you-"

"No mother. If Sam and I decide to have kids, it won't be for a while, so drop the subject. And that is final." Mello couldn't believe her, he really couldn't.

She appeared to want to say more, to argue her case and badger a win, but the song ended and Mello left her standing there, quickly making his escape. He was going to get a few drinks in his system before he even thought of going anywhere near her again.

"What a wonderful life," he muttered sarcastically and tipped back a shot.

.

.

They had decided to begin their honeymoon the day after the wedding rather than wait like some couples did. For the moment however, they were in a hotel suite.

Samantha was on her knees before him wearing a devilish grin and nothing else, her dress removed and draped neatly on a nearby chair. It was the wedding night and their own personal after party, but Mello just wasn't into it.

Never had been. He simply was not attracted to her sexually; her supple breasts, light skin, and curvy figure did nothing for him. That wasn't to say he couldn't get off and wouldn't do so that night as well.

With a hand on one of the most sensitive parts of his body, how could he not get hard?

He was a man and just because the sight of her didn't do it for him, didn't mean her hand or mouth couldn't. Sensation was sensation, even if it wasn't as spectacular as it could have been with a man.

Mello let her tease him for a while before sweeping her onto the bed and covering her with his body. She moaned softly, wrapping her legs around his torso, her hands going up his back. If he didn't think about what he was doing and instead focused on the feeling alone, it wasn't so bad.

With his eyes closed, the kisses at his neck, nails on his back, and the legs squeezing him as they rocked together could almost fool him that what he was coming into wasn't a woman. At least until he reopened his eyes and had her staring him in the face. Reality was a real bitch sometimes.

"I love you, Mello," she smiled and caressed his cheek lazily. He kissed her fingertips and did not reply, and she didn't seem to notice. He had hoped she would be too tired for more, but as she flipped their positions, straddling him, kissing him, and rubbing herself against him, Mello knew it was going to be a long night.

-End section 1-

review?


	2. Part 1: Section 2

**Disclaimer: **I do not own or make money from Death Note

**Suggested Listening:** Allegoria by she screams remedy

**AN:** ok so I finally found the time to post this. Between school, work and studying im starting to get so tired I cant even write, never mind have the brain to edit anything complicated XD As for Part 2 of this, you will have to wait until it gets sent back to me so I can edit it :) Hopefully this will tide you over until then.

**Part 1**

-_Doing Time_-

**Section 2**

Mello sighed heavily as he parked in the garage of their 'small' house. Neither had wanted a size that warranted servants—like his parents' house—or something that would require long hours of cleaning. Yet how could they refuse such a wedding gift? The house had been a joint gift from both of their parents, though either family could have easily bought a few of the houses located in the ritzy neighborhood.

Mello had learned that the idea had been brought up by his mother, and he really wished she would just stay the hell out of his life and stop making it more miserable than it already was. Hitting the close button for the garage door as he went inside, he reflected on the first ten months of marriage.

For all appearances, they were the perfect couple: young, in love and wealthy with everything going for them. Samantha probably even thought that. But in reality, Mello was being smothered.

He worked at his father's company—from the bottom up, as had been expected of him—and the long hours of repetitive and brain rot inducing work was frustrating, even if he climbed the ladder quicker than most. He had never wanted to work there. He wanted to go into criminal law, CSI work, _something_ interesting.

It wasn't what his parents had envisioned, and his father had used the marriage to rope him in, saying that 'women needed stability' and that all his dreams were just that, dreams. That nothing would pan out from them and he would be left with nothing to show for. His father was certain that Mello would thank him later on for killing his dreams. Mello scoffed at such an idea. He had even toyed with taking courses on the side, but the problem would have been getting Sam to keep quiet. It wasn't that she wouldn't have been supportive, at least for a while; however, she liked his parents for some reason and would not want to keep anything from them. Especially his mother, whom she _adored_.

On the subject of his mother; she had been pestering him a lot lately. Though she would not dare say anything to Sam for fear of upsetting her by some chance. _'When am I getting grandchildren, Mihael? You have been married almost a year; you cannot say you haven't thought of it?'_

She had even given them some god-awful, ugly fertility idol, saying it had been in the family for years and that there was no sense in wasting its beauty in a home that had too many statue type things already. Mello knew for a fact that hideous thing was not a family heirloom, and the last thing he needed was his mother giving Sam any ideas.

Mello kept the lights off as he removed his jacket, loosened his tie and kicked his shoes off into the corner. He knew his way around the kitchen and easily opened the refrigerator to fish out something to eat.

As expected, Sam had left him something. It appeared to be a portion of a casserole, and although she wasn't a great cook, it probably tasted alright. The food she made was usually edible so long as she had not forgotten about it and let it burn.

Heading to his study Mello took the cold food with him and ate under the desktop's lamp light. It wasn't that he thought heating it up would wake Sam, he was just too tired to care. It was inching on one o'clock, and he had to be up again by six. It was like this a lot of the time.

Mello rinsed the dish when finished and left it in the dishwasher, heading up the steps to the bedroom. He stripped, threw on a pair of boxers, and slid carefully into bed. Sam stirred just a little, muttering something under her breath before relaxing again.

Sam. Samantha. Mello didn't even know where to start with her.

She hadn't changed much in the time they were married like in some of the horror stories. The ones where the person you married does a complete one eighty on you. In fact, she was _exactly_ the same. No growth of personality. No change in her daily life other than getting a job at a local hospital as a physical therapist. Funny how he couldn't have dreams but she could live hers.

She was almost, to put it nicely, boring. She spoke of the same things over and over, and about her patients and other things that Mello honestly couldn't care less about happening during her day. Nothing exciting ever happened to her, and in turn, him.

It was the American dream. A perfectly boring life of the rich and richer.

Mello rolled away from her and stared blurrily the clock that read quarter till two. Sighing, he shut his eyes and tried to will himself asleep.

.

.

Mello had just gotten a call telling him he didn't have to come into work the next day, and he should have been thrilled, but his father was never one to just give days off of work for the hell of it.

So when Sam approached him hardly a few minutes later, pulling him close and kissing him, he knew something was up. "I have something I want to ask you." She was biting her lip which meant it was something she was excited about, if not a little worried.

Mello forced a smile on his face and asked, "Alright, what is it?"

"Ok, this might seem a little bit sudden, and I know we haven't talked about this much and-"

"Sam, you are rambling," he pointed out to her, giving her a second to compose herself and get rid of the embarrassed flush to her cheeks.

"I want us to have a baby," she blurted out, and Mello froze.

He had never wanted kids and had thought there would be more time to decide, or perhaps persuade her to not want them so soon or at all. They had only been married a little over a year now.

His mother would never forgive him if he said no however—his wife told her everything—in fact, Mello was certain that was why he suddenly had the next day off. He was being railroaded into something he didn't want, _again_. His fists clenched behind her back for a split second before he grinned and shifted his hands to her waist.

"Let's have a baby then," he whispered against her lips, pretending to be excited, to want it, even though all he could think was that it was one more thing to ruin his life. One more thing he hadn't decided.

.

.

"I just don't understand it," she trailed off, lips pursed together tightly. "It's been six months and nothing!" she threw her hands in the air. It was the first real sign of frustration he had ever seen in her. Sometimes it took years for couples to conceive, so Mello was far from worrying, not that he would about this particular issue anyway. But with her frustrated, it was bad for him.

It was true though; she hadn't been taking 'the pill' and had been doing just about everything she could think of, including odd sex positions, to get pregnant. None of it had worked.

"Maybe there is something wrong with one of us?" she suggested hardly a minute later.

He ran a hand along her back soothingly, and she collapsed against him, seeking comfort. She looked up at him and frowned. "I think both of us should be tested. If there if an issue, it needs to be addressed." She pulled away, standing straight and looked determined. Mello knew then that there was no getting out of it.

And that led to him sitting in the doctor's office waiting for the results of his tests. Sam wasn't with him, and for that, Mello was grateful. It was awkward enough to do this without having her there.

He had been given a complete psychical, with more attention being paid to his lower half than comfortable with, and had been called in for the results. Thankfully, Sam was at work and could not get out of her appointments to join him.

Mello had been waiting in the main office for almost a half hour after being called in to a private room, yet there was countless minutes of more waiting while he was in there. He was almost ready to say to hell with it when the door opened and a middle aged man with a mustache walked in. "Mr. Keehl?" the man was looking at his chart so Mello had no choice but to respond verbally or risk being ignored.

The doctor looked up and regarded him for a moment. It was almost a pitying look that had Mello on edge. "Well, most of your tests checked out, and nothing serious came up. However there is some bad news-"

All Mello could think was cancer, or diabetes or-

"I'm afraid that you, Mr. Keehl, are sterile. There is no chance of you ever having children."

Mello wanted to laugh. It was the single best moment of his life in the last two years, and he could only sit there stunned into silence.

"It is a lot to spring on you, and I am sorry, but there is nothing that can be done about it. Other than that, you are perfectly healthy."

Mello left the doctor's office twenty minutes later in a daze. It was as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "I can't have kids." The excitement that rose in his chest was only matched by the grin that had taken over his face.

Part of him knew he shouldn't be quite so enthusiastic over the news, but he couldn't help it. Something had finally gone his way. Though the problem remained that when everyone found out, there would be looks of sympathy and Sam would probably start thinking of adoption later on-

Mello frowned. Who said he had to tell them a goddamn thing?

No one. He had the results, he could either not show them and make up a story or-

_Or_ he could forge them. Mello's mind spun with scenarios until he decided that yes, forging them and presenting them was the best option.

He was sick and tired of everything being taken out of his hands, sick of everyone making decisions for him, and sick to death of being forced deeper and deeper into things he hated. No, this time he was going to do something for himself. He was going to keep this as his secret and no one would be the wiser because he was the good son, the little boy who fell in line when pushed.

Mello nodded to himself and hurried on his way, he had some documents to mess with before getting home.

.

Mello stood calmly by as Sam meticulously scanned his results, and her frown increased as she reached the end. "I was sure there was something wrong," she mumbled, still silently reading over the papers.

Mello allowed a nasty look while she wasn't paying attention. So it automatically had to be him if there was an issue? Granted it _was_ him, but that wasn't the point. Any lingering guilt—which admittedly, had not been much—vanished, and he simply felt nothing in concerns to the situation.

"You should know that not all couples conceive right away. Some take years. We are young and healthy, so it will happen eventually and when intended," he told her, plastering on a soft smile as she looked up. She didn't smile back but nodded.

"I know, I just really want to have a baby," she sighed and leaned against the counter. "You are right of course, we have plenty of time. Well once your father lets you do more than paperwork. Honestly, you are never home, and I know you work so hard," she trailed off, expression a little solemn. She shook her head and tossed the results to the table, apparently deeming them useless. Mello congratulated himself on getting his way for once.

"I'm certain he won't keep me there for too long. He is always complaining that he needs better staff in his office," he shrugged. It was true. He was looking for a promotion soon. Needed one before he went postal and took the stapler from his desk and used it for more than stapling packets together. Maybe used it on the white haired annoyance who always took extra time at the copier just to piss him off.

"Let's go out to eat while I still have you all to myself." Sam reached forward and tugged him through the kitchen, her mood improving, and Mello only allowed it because he could use the night out too. And maybe, if he got her to drink enough, they could skip the sex he thought she might be planning.

-End Section 1-


	3. Part 2: Section 1

**Suggested Listening**: New in Town by Little Boots

~Part 2~

-_The Distraction_-

Section 1

"Mihael, please stop fidgeting. It will only be for a few hours. Honestly, you act like you have never been over there before," his mother tisked from the front seat, peering back at him through the mirror so he couldn't frown.

Sam covered her smile with a tissue, and for all appearances, she was wiping her nose. The weather had turned cold, and runny noses were a common occurrence. Despite having to deal with tissue boxes littered around the house, and an wife who wanted to cuddle constantly because of it, Mello loved winter. The air was always so crisp and fresh, nothing like the stuffy heavy air the rest of the year.

So many seasons had passed already since he had married. Two years and four kids later... was what his mother would have liked to say about him. It was two years later however there were no kids.

Sam hadn't wanted to go to a specialist as apparently his words to her had gotten through about letting it happen naturally. Mello couldn't have planned it any better had he been trying. Only he knew the real reason for the lack of children, and he certainly wasn't going to tell.

Mello looked out the window and watched the streetlamps pass by rapidly as his father drove them to the Richardson's house for a pre-Christmas celebration. It was basically a party for the sake of a party. They were the only ones in attendance, a family thing, though Mello knew better than to believe it would only last a few hours. He would be lucky to get home before dawn, especially since Sam was getting to see her parents which meant she wouldn't want to leave so soon.

Six or more hours of pretending he wasn't bored out of his mind. Splendid.

They pulled into the long driveway and exited the vehicle around twenty minutes later. "That's not daddy's car. I wonder if someone stopped over for a bit?" Sam murmured, yet it still caught everyone's attention.

"So much for a family dinner," he grumbled.

"Mihael!" His mother was frowning at him, but he ignored her and continued on to the front doors. It was blistering cold out despite the season being early and Mello was freezing; he wasn't not going to wait for his mother to scold him for speaking his mind.

He rang the bell just as Sam stepped beside him; she grabbed his arm and cuddled into him as the wind ripped through them. For once he didn't mind as she shielded him from some of it.

The door opened only about fifteen seconds later, and the four of them tumbled inside. His father helped the servant shut the door as he steadied Sam to keep her from falling. The wind on their backs had been brutal.

"Everyone is in the dining hall. I will take your coats so please make your way there," the servant, an older gentleman with a trimmed white beard, told them. Mello had seen him a few times but had never caught his name.

He had also noted the 'everyone' and wondered at who else was there. The Richardson's were many things, but when it came to their daughter, they stuck to their word. they wanted 'quality' time with her and only her that night, so it was a surprise that someone else would be there. It was certainly true they could have come unexpected, but they would have been turned away before the start of dinner.

Whomever it was had been expected.

"Mihael-"

Mello glared at his wife but did not say anything in the presence of his mother. She had no problems embarrassing him in front of others. And lately Sam had been calling him Mihael more and more often, generally in his parent's company. However, if she believed he was going to let her call him that all the time, she was mistaken.

"Samantha! Oh good, you got here safe. There was an accident due to a downed power line already. Dreadful wind-" Sam's aging mother, who was very frail and delicate in appearance, greeted her daughter with a kiss to the cheek. Her father nodded to her though continued conversing with another man. He was in the same age group as Mr. Richardson, but appeared to be more than a business partner.

"Martin Jeevas, is that you?" Mello looked over at is mother as she walked over to the fireplace, his father trailing behind her. They knew him? And that name, Jeevas, sounded familiar.

He watched in confusion as his parents seemed excited to see that man, Martin. Mello had thought he knew all of his parents close friends, and they did not act like that with mere acquaintances.

"Mihael, don't just stand there, come greet him," his mother glared at him, it turning to a smile the second she was looking at Martin again.

"Sybil, I doubt he remembers me. He was just a tiny thing the last time I saw him, and even then, he was more interested in playing with Mail." Martin winked at him and Mello had the feeling he was going to like this man, who he apparently already knew.

"Speaking of Mail, how is he doing? I haven't heard anything from you in such a long time..." his mother trailed off almost awkwardly as she seated herself next to Mrs. Richardson, waiting to be answered.

"He's doing well. Finished all his technology schooling and is already working for a gaming company; he will be running it in no time." They all laughed, though Mello rolled his eyes. Everything was funny when company was over. God how he hated being born privileged.

He sat on the couch opposite his mother and wife. He could at least claim no room as it only seated three people.

"Telling them bad things about me already?"

A voice drew his gaze to the doorway where a guy about his age stood, leaning against the woodwork with denim jeans, socks, and a striped shirt on. He even had what looked liked goggles around his neck. Not something he expected to see being worn in this house and in this company.

"Mail, I didn't know you were here too, dear. Where were you?"

"I was out having a smoke." The redhead in question dangled a pack of cigarettes into view.

Mello was still focused on the goggles. Though he vaguely thought he heard his mother make a blatantly rude comment about the cigarette. Furring his brows, Mello leaned back and crossed his arms. What was it about that guy, other than him being easy on the eyes?

"Matt," he spoke softly, yet the redhead in question immediately looked over. His mouth hung open, and Mello got the feeling 'Matt' remembered him more than he remembered Matt. The room had grown silent, but Mello kept his attention on the redhead.

"Mello. It's been a while." Matt smiled awkwardly at him for a long moment before taking the seat next to him.

"Hm, the geeky redhead with the bug eyes," Mello said aloud and Matt's father laughed heartily while Matt simply looked embarrassed. They had played together when they were little, that much Mello was certain; so young that his memories were fragmented and very obscure. He did remember, if only vaguely.

The scrawny little boy with the wild hair who had glasses so large they made his eyes look bug-like. He had changed a lot, but so had Mello. From the short bob haircut and baggy clothing to suits and, when he had the chance, leather. Though with Sam around, the leather wasn't an option very often at all; he missed the way it hugged his body like a second skin.

"You, ah, don't remember me all that much, do you?" Matt asked. Mello shook his head and wondered at the way Matt looked away. "Well it was a long time ago," Matt murmured.

"Nonsense. The two of you were inseparable back then. Mihael, I believe you were seven, and Mail was six. Twin terrors you were, always getting into so much trouble," his mother looked pointedly at him, as if to say he still did enough damage on his own. He had been old enough to create lasting memories, so why was it that when he tried to think of Matt, all he got were blurs? They couldn't have been that inseparable then as life had clearly gone on without the need of his little childhood 'friend'.

"All of this talk has made me famished, and I'm certain the women are the same way. We won't keep you any longer," Martin Jeevas said with a smile, though it was one that Mello noted held sadness as though he did not want to part with these people.

"Oh you must stay for dinner. None of us mind, right?" Mrs. Richardson glanced around and smiled when no one objected.

"Oh great, there goes the night," Matt sighed, and Mello couldn't help but snicker at the comment. Matt gave him a small smile that he returned. He may not have remembered Matt, but perhaps he could form new memories with his once friend.

Mello glanced at his wife and noted how she waited for him by the doorway. Time to face dinner with the in-laws...and the Jeevas'.

.

"It was so good to see you-"

Mello distanced himself from his mother who was gushing over Martin Jeevas and forcing plans onto the poor man. "Mail must visit as well, he was such a-"

Mello smirked, content with the fact that he was not the only one who would be forced into doing his mother's biding all the time.

"Is she always like this?" Despite the cold and the wind, Matt was leaning against the house, smoking and seemingly unaffected by the cold. He was wearing a deerskin vest though, so it probably blocked out a good portion of the weather.

"Every single damn moment of my life," he groaned. Matt winced in sympathy, blowing smoke away from him as he exhaled. Mello appreciated it.

Dinner had gone well with most of the attention going to the Jeevas men, though it did become a little awkward when they began to recant tales of himself and Matt as children. Like the time Matt had gotten ahold of his mother's makeup and decided to make Mello 'pretty'. He almost spit his water all over the table before looking at the mortified redhead across from him. Other than more horrible and equally traumatizing shenanigans being told, Mello hadn't minded being there so late.

There was however, a subject that had only been skated over: the reason the Jeevas family had moved away in the first place. It had something to do with Matt's mother, though no one had said exactly what. It ate at his curiosity until he just couldn't contain himself. It was a good thing his mother was preoccupied or he was certain something nasty would have come out of her mouth for him prying.

"I have been wondering, and if you don't mind me asking, why didn't you leave the first chance you got when you were able to after highschool?" Mello knew that every family wasn't like his, the kind that drove a person to an early grave, but Matt also didn't seem to fit into their kind of society. His clothing was rebellious and not something that would have been tolerated in the Keehl household. That and his company's main branch was located here, rather than where Matt's family had moved to. So why would Matt have stayed with his parents when he could have easily gone anywhere he wanted?

Matt was silent for a moment before he glanced over and shrugged. "My mother had always been frail. It wasn't that I didn't want to leave, just by the time that I could, she only had a few years left as the cancer ate away at her. I wanted to make certain I wasn't splitting my time between two places."

"I'm sorry." The past tense, as well as the fact that Matt was there, meant his mother was dead. Whether recently or not Mello didn't know.

"It's alright. I'm certain all the cloak and dagger way of avoiding the subject made you curious." Matt did not seem bothered by it in the least, and he just couldn't help but hesitantly ask Matt the kind of cancer.

Mello withheld the urge to slap a hand over his mouth to just stop himself from speaking, but all Matt did was smile and say "Lung cancer" as he took a long drag of his cigarette. Mello shook his head in disbelief. That was not a normal response.

"Mihael, let's get going." Mello rolled his eyes as Sam's voice called out to him. Always when he was enjoying himself.

"Guess I will see you whenever they rope you into visiting." Mello turned with those words, seeing the impatience in his mother's eyes as she waited with Sam by the car. "It was good to see you again, Mello, even if you can't say it back."

Looking back, he noted how Matt's smile was tinged with just a bit of sadness. He didn't really know what to say to that and settled on an awkward smile.

He hurried over to the car after that, knowing everyone was waiting on him.

-End Section 1-

**AN**: So i'm not dead, and finally got into a good place in my head to sit down and finish the edits for this chapter. A few more other edits and the next section should be out as well. Then once my awesome beta gives back the other 3? i sent her, I will try and get those out along with send the final ones for beta, ok?

I am still on hiatus but as I said I will post my completed things :)


	4. Part 2: Section 2

**Disclaimer**: I do not own death note or make money from it.

Part 2

-_The Distraction_-

Section 2

Mello was lounging across the couch when the Jeevas family arrived for the scheduled cookout. It had only been two weeks since the dinner where he had 'met' Matt, but the weather had evened out and plans had been made. Though it wasn't exactly a summer day, they could get away with light sweaters and jackets. The plus side was that there weren't many bugs, so the food could be enjoyed without swatting insects away every five seconds.

The cookout was happening at his parent's house, and they had been preparing for it for the last few hours or so. Mello never understood why everything had to be perfect when company was over: this glass had to be here and the blanket draped over the couch just so. It made the environment feel stiff and uninviting, to him at least.

He had only been able to sit down a few minutes earlier after escaping the kitchen and the women inside. His father had slinked off some time before, leaving him to be ordered around. His mother had decided they would actually cook their own food and had let the staff off early, which was surprising to Mello as he couldn't remember a time when she had ever cooked anything.

It would be an interesting experience, of that he was certain.

"Doing nothing I see?" Mello tilted his head back to see the upside down form of Matt who grinned easily at him.

"Yeah, after a morning of being slave driven around the house. Just wait, they will rope you into something sooner or later," Mello told him and watched as Matt flopped down at the other end of the couch. Any closer and his feet would have been sat on.

"I'm getting the feeling that you would rather not be here." Matt had draped an arm over the back of the couch and put a cigarette in his mouth though he didn't light it. Mello thought his mother might have had a heart attack if he had.

"You have no idea," he replied, closing his eyes with a sigh. There were about a million and a half other places he would rather be than anywhere near this house.

"Have a romantic day planned with the wife or something?" Matt joked but cleared his throat awkwardly when he caught sight of Mello's expression.

"No," Mello told him simply. He wasn't getting into his marital woes with someone he hardly knew. With his luck it would get back to Sam or worse, his mother.

"Mihael Lucian Keehl, get your feet off that couch!" The rest of the dinner party filtered in, including his mother who stopped in the doorway with a stern expression. With a hefty sigh, Mello did as told and sat up straight before he got reprimanded for his posture next. Like it even mattered.

"Why don't you and Matt get the table set outside while your father starts cooking?" though it was directed as a question, anyone who knew his mother knew it had not been a suggestion. She was a lovely woman when she wasn't focused on you and the aspects of your life she thought needed fixing, or when company was over. Mello remembered being in trouble many times over for doing something 'atrocious' at a gathering or formal dinner party, child or otherwise. At times, he had wished they had been middle class. They might have all been happier.

He stood and led the way to the kitchen where a stack of plates and such had been left out. "Your parents are much more formal than mine ever were," Matt commented as he picked up the bread basket full of silverware, leaving the dishes for Mello.

"They always have been." And it was suffocating. He thanked the redhead as the patio door was held open for him. There really wasn't much to do, and they had finished setting up by the time his father exited with the food to be grilled. And perhaps contrary to common belief, they did eat 'normal' things such as ribs, specialty marinated chicken, and bratwurst. Well, when they did cookouts anyway.

"So ah, what do you do for a living? You seem like you would pick something interesting as a career choice," Matt asked, obviously trying for a longer conversation. He had not picked the right subject.

"Might have been an interesting one had I been able to choose," he mumbled and shot his father a bitter glare that the older man didn't see as he was cooking. He would give up everything to have a chance to do things his way. He didn't need money, and at the moment with the resentment flowing through him, he didn't think he needed his family either.

Matt stood there awkwardly and fiddled with a knife's placement, and had he not been seething, Mello might have felt bad. As it were, he had to look away from his father before he imploded. He was luckier than most, he knew this, but every time he thought of what he had dreamed of for his life and what he was forced into, he just got so angry. Call him ungrateful or self-centered, he didn't care.

"Mihael, bring me a plate," his father called, and though he was still angry, he did as asked. He tried to quell his anger, direct it elsewhere as he held the plate for his father to place the chicken on. The ribs seemed to be cooking fast too, so Mello brought another plate over once he had deposited the chicken at the table.

It was a few minutes later when his mother, wife, and Matt's father appeared with the sides. All homemade, no canned or preservative filled foods.

"While we are waiting, why don't we get our plates together?" his mother suggested in a friendly tone, smiling at everyone and being far more relaxed than she generally was.

Just as Matt finished putting a ton of coleslaw on his plate, the last of the food was served, and Mello smirked as the redhead tried to fit a half rack of ribs on his plate. He couldn't wait to see how he was going to use a fork and knife for that. His mother was already meticulously cutting up her fourth of a rack. Heaven forbid she actually picked it up and eat it like a normal human.

Mello sat at the far end of the table with his plate and watched the people around him as they ate and conversed. Martin Jeevas was not someone Mello would have ever thought his parents would be friends with. He was too...informal. And friendly and every other positive word.

Everything his mother would have scoffed at or scolded him for, Martin could get away with. He wasn't bitter about it, but fascinated. It was so odd to see his parents so lax in their propriety. He enjoyed it. It also meant they weren't paying attention to him.

Even his wife had been effortlessly pulled in. Martin could have her too. "Feel free to steal her from me," he mumbled quietly, shaking his head. If only things were simple in his life.

"What did you say?" Matt looked curious as he took the seat next to him. He probably shouldn't have been surprised that Matt would rather sit over here than with the rest of them, any sane person would.

"It wasn't anything important." He waved off Matt's question and wondered if Matt had actually heard him. He would have to be more careful in what he decided to voice in the future; his 'good' luck wouldn't last forever.

"If you say so," Matt shrugged and started eating, obviously having taken the 'conversation over' hint. It didn't make Mello feel any more comfortable however. There was a strange, almost awkward silence that hung over them, and Mello had no idea what to do about it.

"So, what made you get into games?" Mello asked hesitantly. Something needed to fill the silence, and it might as well be Matt talking. He wasn't a bad guy so far, perhaps a little strange, but Mello had never professed to being normal.

Matt looked up with a smile, and after a swig of soda, "I love technology. I always have. It's fascinating how such tiny things connect to make something work. I suppose that could also be applied to mechanics, but I enjoy using and manipulating the technology too."

Mello nodded. He honestly wasn't all that interested in technology. Sure he used a computer at work and had a laptop at home, but it was for email and maybe a little internet usage. He wasn't spectacular at it nor had he ever really cared why it worked, just that it did. He much preferred guns, a guilty pleasure along with leather.

"I used to get into so much trouble when I was little." Matt took another bite of food and smiled wistfully. "I loved to take apart anything and everything I could that had wires and microchips. I had a need, a compulsion, to see what was inside, what made it tick."

Mello winced. He would have gotten grounded for life if he ever had done that even once, never mind how many times Matt's words suggested he had.

"The trick," Matt paused dramatically, "is getting everything back together and working the same if not better than before.

"As for why I chose gaming and technology, well they are my two passions. In games, I get to construct them from the base up, ones and zeros, and transform it into something at least one other person might enjoy." Matt spoke with such enthusiasm that Mello couldn't help but be a little interested. Matt made his job sound like the Holy Grail, and he would have had to be blind not to notice how animated Matt got when speaking about what he loved.

Mello found he didn't mind hearing about computers and the inner workings of game systems when Matt explained it. It almost made him want to pick up a game console and try it out. Almost.

He had no idea for how long he had simply listened to Matt, asking questions here and there, but when he looked up, he found a few sets of eyes staring at them. Sam smiled encouragingly at him, and the general consensus that he got was that everyone was happy about them getting along.

Mello wasn't about to alter their thinking.

.

.

Mello was surprised when Sam came up and wrapped her arms around him. She smiled brightly up at him with her lips curled into a coy smile. "You are so much more relaxed now that you have a friend to talk to."

Mello blinked. Was Matt a friend after only a few days? He didn't think they had really known each other long enough for it to have progressed to that, if it ever would. He couldn't count a childhood friendship he didn't remember.

"I had been a little worried. You are always so closed off. I think he will be good for you, someone to go play pool with or whatever it is you men do when not with us women." Her expression changed again, and Mello felt his good mood dissipate. He would have rather been at work then home at the moment.

Her fingers snuck beneath his belt and began working his sex into hardness. She leaned up to kiss him, manicured nails grazing his dick as she freed it. She was in a mood, one Mello did not like.

He did as expected though and felt her up, cupping her breasts under her shirt and leading her to their bedroom. They never had sex anywhere else, and she was not one for much adventure. She liked two positions and only two unless she had gotten it into her head that she wanted to suck him off.

Tonight, however, it seemed she felt like lying on her back and squeezing him to death with her legs as he fucked her. And to add to his irritation, when they were done, she decided to cuddle into him with her head on his chest. She breathed out a satisfied moan and murmured words under her breath as she drifted off.

Mello was hardly pleased with the situation, frown deeply etched onto his face. It was uncomfortable to have her on his chest, and her hair made him itchy. Rubbing his face, he sighed softly and pulled the covers over them.

He always had trouble sleeping with her on top of him or draped across, but he had work in the morning. He forcefully shut his eyes and wondered why he couldn't just suck it up and accept that this was his life.

.

end section

.

**AN**: see i told you i would have this out :) little longer for me to edit the next part, but not weeks i hope.

anyone still reading? review?


	5. Part 2: Section 3

**Disclaimer**: still dont own death note or make money from it, shocking i know.

Part 2

-_The Distraction_-

Section 3

Matt had called him on his day off and asked if he wanted to do something. Normally, he would have declined—it was his day off after all, and he wasn't all that familiar with the redhead either—but Sam had been due home any time and he wanted an excuse not to deal with her. It had turned out to be a great decision.

Matt had arrived in a red Camaro and told him they were going to grab something to eat before going to a gun range, though they had ended up not leaving for another ten minutes. He had made a split second decision to change into something he kept hidden at the very bottom of his clothing drawer: his leather.

If he was going out and doing something with guns, he was going to be in leather—no ifs, ands, or buts. The two just mixed in all the right ways, not that he wouldn't have used any excuse to wear the leather. He completed the outfit change with his Doc Martens and a pair of leather gloves.

Matt's jaw had practically unhinged from his face when he had strode out of the house in the leather, and it pleased him. Mello knew he looked sexy in leather and wished he led a life where he could show it off more. It felt great against his skin, hugging his body snugly and comfortingly.

"Now I'm ready," he smirked, settling in the passenger seat. Matt swallowed hard and shook his head. "Wow" had been all he could manage as he pulled out of the driveway.

The gun range had been surprisingly close, nestled deep within a place Mello never would have set foot in on his own. Rich people had all the amenities in their exclusive country clubs, shooting ranges included. Mello had always hated going to those snooty places.

Matt had taken Mello's sour expression at the entrance sign in stride, merely grinning as he parked. Apparently, Matt thought his reaction was hilarious. He felt slightly awkward walking into the lobby, not only as a guest but wearing something that was patently not country club material. Matt did not seemed bothered in the least and checked in, evidently having reserved a certain time slot for them to be alone on the range.

"You just moved here. How the hell do you even have a membership to this...establishment?" he hissed quietly, eyeing the people around him wearily. He wondered at what they thought of him, dressed like that in their snobby club.

"My mother liked to go to the sister one in our previous area, and I simply had the membership transferred here. Even my dad has one, though I doubt he will ever use it again."

Mello had not thought memberships could be shifted. Unless it was a chain of some sort? Matt pulled him from his thoughts by literally tugging him from the room. "Come on. We only have two hours."

Mello caught a few of the not so quiet whispers and was more than thankful to be out of their prying eyes. Honestly, he wasn't a five-hundred dollar an hour hooker! They were lucky he hadn't gotten to a gun yet; he was not a member of this club, so nothing he did would be tracked back to his family.

He left those thoughts at the door, letting the cool air rip through his hair and the cold immediately settle into his bones. It was comfortable though, a mild chill compared to the previous weeks of freezing temperatures. If he somehow were to work up a sweat, the jacket he wore wouldn't even be needed.

The grounds of the range were cleared of snow and the hard earth beneath their feet was only covered in the dead frozen grass. He would have preferred to stand in the snow. Matt continued to lead him over to an elongated structure, one Mello assumed was somehow part of target practice and perhaps even the pull targets.

As they closed in on the structure, Mello noticed that a woman stood guard there. She was dressed in the same cream colored attire the rest of the staff wore, the only difference being her black pea-coat, fuzzy boots, and hat. She appeared neither pleased nor displeased, though with having to stand out in the cold for a long period of time, Mello believed she was closer to displeased.

"I didn't know what kind you would be comfortable using, granted this isn't a typical gun range so we are a bit limited in the types we can use..." Matt trailed off, smile a little strained as though kicking himself for not having everything perfect. It was sort of endearing, in a way.

"It's fine, Matt. You could have put out all single shot guns, and I would have been happy." Which was the truth; he hadn't been near a gun since he had started dating Sam. Matt appeared instantly relieved and let the employee know they were ready to start. She went through a list of rules and instructions to follow: don't point the gun at anyone, don't point it at yourself, only fire at the targets, blah blah blah. All things anyone with half a brain should have already known.

He nodded at the appropriate places and once the employee was satisfied they wouldn't immediately blow their fingers off, she brought them into the locked office portion that was not visible upon arrival. Arranged on a table inside were various firearms, mainly of the hunting variety, though Mello spied the glock and immediately stated he wanted that one. It wasn't a Beretta, but the glock would suffice. Sure it meant he would be stuck on the human paper target for the time being, but he didn't care.

Matt chose the matching one, probably just so they would be together, and they were shown the way to the targets, given the ear muffs, and left in peace. Mello held no doubt, however, that they were being watched on a camera.

He looked down at his fingers and almost shuddered. It felt so good to have a gun in his grasp again, and even if he had to become a member of this damn club, he wouldn't wait so long to do it again.

"You alright over there?" Matt asked, failing to hide a laugh.

"Why wouldn't I be?" he narrowed his eyes suspiciously at the grinning redhead. There was something odd about his tone.

"No reason. Except that you are practically drooling over that. I didn't know if you wanted some alone time with it or-"

Mello snorted, he couldn't believe what Matt was even jokingly suggesting. But the idea of messing with him was too great to pass up. "You have no idea. I'd love to strip naked and rub the cool metal across my skin. Better than sex," he said in complete seriousness, waiting until Matt's grin had dropped into an awkward 'I don't know what to say to this' kind of smile before setting things straight. "I'm fucking with you. Calm down before you think too much on that image," he snickered at the look Matt gave him, a half mix of horror and relief.

"I had no idea whether to believe you or not; you said it completely straight-faced!" Matt's shoulders sagged, though he was clearly very amused.

"Don't worry. I won't be sneaking off with this baby anytime soon. I prefer Beretta's," he winked, putting on his muffs as Matt shook his head laughing. It was so nice not to have to stick to insane standards of propriety around him, to just be able to talk to someone who was at least half normal... it was a salve for his sanity.

They eventually switched off to the pull targets, using rifles, and stayed there for the remainder of the time. Mello found that he could not rid himself of his grin. He was happy and about more than just having been able to fire a gun again. He really could see how they had been friends as children if Matt had been anything like that as a child.

They had gotten into the car, heat turned on full blast, when Matt had suggested they go to his place for something to warm them up. Mello hadn't even hesitated in agreeing. He had expected to be taken to the Jeevas residence and was a little confused when a nice block of private apartments came into view.

"It's close to work, and I really hate living in huge houses. It seems like such a waste," Matt shrugged, though he almost seemed to expect a rude comment about it.

"I agree with you," he told him, following Matt into an elevator.

"Then why is your house that big? I mean it just seems a bit large for two people…" Matt trailed off as the doors swung open to the appropriate floor.

"It was a wedding gift from my parents. I didn't have a choice but to accept it. I hate how large it is. A pain in the ass to clean," he grumbled the last portion a bit too loudly, and Matt ducked his face to hide a laugh.

The apartment was warm, if not a little smoky smelling, and he followed Matt's lead in shrugging off his jacket, letting the other take it to hang up. He removed his boots too, not wanting to track mud everywhere. "I have hot chocolate, coffee, or tea," Matt yelled from the kitchen.

"How about hot chocolate coffee?" he suggested, scanning the living room and not feeling the slightest bit guilty that he was 'snooping'. There were a lot of figurines on the shelves, Mello assumed from a show or perhaps a game of some sort.

"OK... wait, what?" Matt poked his head out of the kitchen with confusion written across his face as though he had to have heard wrong.

"Just make the coffee, and I will add whatever kind of hot chocolate mix you have to it afterwards." He watched Matt's nose scrunch up. Guess Matt wouldn't be asking to try it anytime soon. His loss.

Mello tore his gaze away from the neatly confined chaos of games and game consoles and headed to where Matt was. "You are just full of surprises, aren't you? Leather, gun fetishes, and now this?" Matt joked, turning away as the one-cup brewer beeped and poured out the coffee. Matt set the mug out for Mello as he readied the machine for another cup.

"Not like I can indulge myself elsewhere, might as well subject you to it." And though he was partially joking, it was also true. His family did not like any of his 'odd' quirks, and he barely got away with eating as much chocolate as he did. When he ate chocolate, he still felt like a bad child who had stolen something and had to eat it before his parents noticed.

"There is cream in the fridge if you even use it. I will just be right back, ok?" Matt strolled almost lazily from the kitchen, though Mello didn't pay much attention to where he was going, instead concentrating on mixing in the hot chocolate packet that had been left out.

He finished, taking a sip to make certain there was enough cocoa in it, before cleaning his mess and waiting for Matt to return. He was halfway through his coffee and Matt still wasn't back. Being naturally curious, he set the cup aside and went in search.

It wasn't until he came across a closed door, light spilling out from underneath and the smell of smoke wafting out around it, did he understand. It hadn't occurred to him, but Matt had not smoked at all since he had picked him up. He was probably dying for a smoke.

He grabbed the handle and when it turned, being unlocked, he shoved the door open. Matt looked at him wide eyed like he had been caught doing something naughty and scrambled to put the cigarette in his hand out. Rolling his eyes, Mello stalked over and grabbed him by the arm, dragging him out into the living room.

"I know you smoke in here. I smelt it when I came in, so don't go hide in your bathroom if you need one. It is your apartment. Just don't blow it in my face, and we are fine," he added the last part a little jokingly, though still with the underlying threat of 'do it and die.'

"Thank God!" Matt mumbled, taking a long drag like the junkie he probably was. It was not hard to see Matt being completely addicted to them, a chain smoker as opposed to the stress or habit smokers.

"Sorry, I just really needed one. I think this is a record for not having one.." Matt trailed off, scratching the back of his head with a lopsided smile. He was obviously embarrassed about it, if only a little, though it was rather amusing to Mello.

"I'd hate to see what you would do after a long plane flight then." The image of golem saying 'my precious' and stroking the One Ring came to mind, and he snorted, shaking his head to Matt's questioning look. "Nothing, Matt."

"If you say so," Matt took another drag, still eyeing him a little oddly, blowing the smoke off to the side before heading for his coffee.

Mello stood there for a few moments, wondering how the hell he had been lucky enough to find someone like Matt. He could now easily see them becoming close friends. They might have been so when they were children, but he hardly remembered it, so their past relationship meant little to him. Maybe though... they could form a new one.

"Come on, Mello. Your 'coffee' is getting cold!"

He smiled and returned to the kitchen, content for the first time in a long while.

He ended up staying another hour and a half before he reluctantly told Matt he needed to go. He obviously did not really want to, but he hadn't taken his phone, and he was certain Sam and his mother would have a full scale man-hunt for him sometime soon if he didn't get home. It really sucked being married.

Mello returned home a full five hours after he had left, instantly recognizing his mother's vehicle as Matt pulled up the driveway. He groaned, knowing there would be some sort of lecture waiting for him.

"I'm assuming that car is bad news for you?" Matt asked him as he popped the door open.

"Yes, my mother," he frowned, really not wanting to deal with her. He would like her a lot more if she could just mind her own damn business.

"You know, you should try to enjoy the time when she is around instead of cursing it. You never know when it will be too late."

Somehow Mello didn't think replying 'I'll trade places with you' was appropriate, so he simply nodded and stepped from the car. "Thanks for taking me to the gun range," he said, closing the door.

As he was walking away, Matt rolled down the window and called his name. Turning back, he found the passenger window rolled down and Matt leaning as far over as he could from the driver's side. "Call me!" he winked, holding a hand up to his ear as though it were a phone.

Mello cracked a smile, it turning into a laugh as he watched Matt practically hunched over the steering wheel in mirth. "D-don't drive until you can stop shaking," he stumbled over his words, laughter making it difficult to speak, though Matt heard him anyway. He waved to the other and, still smiling, entered the house.

He had expected them to be in the living room, which would have allowed him to sneak in unnoticed and change before confronting them. Instead, he almost walked right into his mother who held a pitcher of what looked like lemonade with orange slices floating in it.

Time stood still as his mother and Samantha, who had just come out of the small walk-in pantry, stared at him. _Fuck_, was all he could think.

"Mihael, what on earth are you wearing?" his mother's voice went a little shrill towards the end, making him wince.

"Biking leathers?" he tried to sound casual but doubted he had succeeded. Maybe he should have tried snarky and told her 'dead cow' so she would go straight to reprimanding him rather than staring at him with such an odd and slightly horrified expression.

There was a long, awkward silence before he finally sidestepped his mother. "I'm going to change," he called over his shoulder, cringing at the utter silence that remained as he shuffled to the bedroom.

It was going to be a long, long evening.

.

.

**AN:** ok so this took forever...can i blame it on my final exam this monday? ( that i am obviously studying hard for. obviously)

IMPORTANT, I have been getting a few PMs about my stories, mainly the ones that seem to be missing...i have taken down most of my oneshots, including Dog Days and Silent Dance, after having two of mine forcibly deleted, without warning i might add, or the summary not being "G" enough. I was not going to change them going through the rest of my stuff and banning me. So you can thank the site for that.

I am on other sites which will have things I dared not post on here, , under the same name. and , under ALEXHLIEL

My Mello asked me if it was only the yaoi fics that were being targeted. I have no idea, though it seems like it. Anyone know?

**Special thanks to reviewers**:  
KuroChaos01, Sabbie 3, foreverunloved, LadyJoLee, I.P. Nightly, brightnight003, goldenpaw, theheartstourniquet, Awesomenessknowsnobounds


	6. Part 3: Section 1

**DISCLAIMER: DO. NOT. OWN. OK? I'M BROKE. WOULD YOU LIKE TO DONATE THOUGH?  
**

**Suggested Listening**: Falling in by Lifehouse

Part 3

_-The Fall_-

Section 1

"I assume you know why you are here?" the voice of his father was stern and coldly professional as he sat in front of him, hands steepled and elbows resting on the large, imposing desk. Mello nodded curtly, and the tension in the room dropped a degree.

"Good. Then I will get right to it. I am promoting you for all of the hard work you have been doing, and I expect your hard work to continue and great things to come of this. Do not disappoint me." His father did not smile and instead went back to his coffee and shuffling the papers in front of him. A clear dismissal if there ever was one.

"Thank you for the opportunity. I will not let you down." Mello barely noticed as the generic and expected words left his mouth and excused himself from the office. Everything was pretense and formality. His father was the boss and would act like one, giving him no special treatment; and he was the ever grateful employee, bumbling his way up the ranks. He was already so much closer to where he should have started in the company—what he was more than qualified for—and it was frustrating to have his father play this game with him.

He loosened his tie as he walked away from the office and turned the corner to stand before the large paned windows. This floor of the building was quiet for the time being, leaving him the only person out in view.

Looking down at the world from the top floor, Mello wondered what it would be like to just jump. Would he feel a few moments of weightlessness, clothing being ruffled violently as he fell? Or would the wind force be too distracting before he ultimately smacked into the pavement below?

Staring at the ant-like people on the streets, he could already imagine how his day would end. He would go home and tell Sam about the promotion, and she would be excited since it meant he would have more time home. More time with her. Wasn't that just awesome?

He sighed, fist gently smacking against the window. This wasn't what he wanted. He was bored, almost to the point of losing it. This was hell. Every time he thought of this job, there was a stabbing pain in his heart for the career he longed for, the one he could never have. Mello sank into his thoughts until his phone vibrated deep in his pocket, signaling the end of his lunch hour. Refitting his tie, Mello backed away from the less than scenic view and went back to work.

.

.

"I just don't understand it. We have been trying and trying and nothing," Sam sighed heavily and went silent.

Mello was leaned quietly against the outside of the kitchen area and listened as Sam spoke to his mother on the phone. His expression was calm, though inwardly, he was annoyed. It was always baby this or baby that. He was sick of hearing about _it_.

Sure, he got that most married couples—somehow he was thinking it was mostly the women—wanted kids, but this was getting a little obsessive. She had taken to watching movies where someone in it was pregnant, be it the main character or a supporting cast member. If they went shopping, even at the food market, she had a habit of stopping and staring at any and all baby or child related items. It was starting to grate on his last nerve.

It wasn't just Sam he was talking about either; it was his mother who was encouraging it as well. It had created a bit of a strain between them because he was not 'trying hard enough' or whatever she was saying these days.

He was still the only one that knew the endeavor was doomed to failure.

"It really took you that long to conceive Mihael?" Sam's voice sounded awed and a little reassured, far less than far from the hysterics she had been close to at the beginning of the call. For that, he was glad. It meant that she wouldn't hound him about a baby that night or want five rounds of sex to try for one either.

He scrubbed a hand across his face. Something would give sooner or later. Whether she decided to try for in vitro, in which case he would have to find a way around, or adoption. One thing that wasn't an option was anyone finding out he was sterile. He did not regret keeping it a secret. It was just too late to tell anyone now without a full-scale blowout from one or more parties.

Closing his eyes, he waited for the conversation just beyond the door to end so he could get a drink; there was just no way he was going to interrupt.

.

.

Mello flicked a piece of popcorn at the offending redhead and cracked a smile as Matt pretended to have been hit by something far heavier, falling sideways as though knocked out. Mello nudged him with a foot and rolled his eyes as Matt mumbled _I'm unconscious leave me alone._

"Guess you won't mind if I push you off the couch then since you are unconscious and all that," he drawled, watching as Matt immediately sat up, bracing himself for a shove that wasn't going to come.

"You should be nice to me since I invited you over for the finale of this."

"You know I'm grateful. It was either this or a night of watching _The Bachelorette _with the wife," he scrunched his nose up at the thought. Honestly, that show was a piece of garbage. None of the relationships lasted. It was just a way to get on TV and make out with a bunch of strangers.

"Can't blame you there," Matt smiled at him, a smile Mello had come to like. It was warm and almost soothing in a way when it wasn't being forced.

His phone went off, and he recognized Sam's ringtone. Sighing, he picked up, wondering what she could possibly want that couldn't wait another hour. "Did I see the what?" he pulled the phone away, staring at it incredulously for a moment. "No, I did not..." he trailed off as she babbled on about some commercial or another for a lube that was stimulating for both of them or something.

"Sorry, I have to go. The show is back on," he quickly ended the call despite the car commercial clearly still scrolling across the TV screen. Flopping backwards, he let out a deep breath. "I am going to lose my mind," he mumbled a bit too loudly, catching Matt's attention.

"Marital troubles?"

Mello cocked his head so that he could see Matt. "She called because of a lube commercial. And I guarantee you, it was because she got it in her head that it will help in having a kid."

"Oh, so you plan on having some?" Matt almost sounded a little disappointed, though Mello could not fathom why.

"She wants them, my family wants them," he grumbled. He couldn't exactly tell Matt that he was unable to have them.

"And you clearly don't. Ever think about telling them that?" Matt suggested.

"Once my mother is set on something, there is no getting out if it. She asked during the reception of our wedding when she was getting grand-kids." He watched Matt wince and felt vindicated that at least one other person thought that was way too soon to push that request.

"No one is forcing you to stay around them. Maybe moving will help your relationship. Or you could actually tell them you want your own life. Worked well for me," Matt told him, staring pointedly.

"There is no way that Sam would move away. She loves being so close to our families. I can't stand it. Didn't even want to date her in the first place," he said the last part quietly, yet the look Matt gave him said it wasn't quiet enough.

"Why did you get married if you don't even like her all that much?"

"You don't understand. It wasn't about what I wanted," Mello shook his head and hoped Matt would just drop his argument. His family was quite different from what he had seen of Matt's.

Since Matt's mother was dead, he could not say anything about her, but his father was not the type to push anyone in a direction they did not want to go. Matt's parents let him go into technology and gaming rather than the family business, and that said a lot. There was no way Matt could understand with the upbringing he'd apparently had.

And frankly, it sucked; Mello had wanted just one person to see it his way, and that did not seem to be happening.

.

.

"Yes Mihael, I have everything. Well, I would if I could find that darn necklace of mine," Sam called out from the bedroom. Mello rolled his eyes and wondered how exactly she could manage to lose the same exact piece of jewelry at least twice a week when she wore it ninety percent of the time.

He left her to it though, taking the casserole out of the oven and setting it on the stovetop to cool. She was having a 'girls night out' with some out of state friends who were visiting for the weekend. She would be staying with them that night and only forgoing another full night out with them because of work on Monday. He wasn't going to complain. He was perfectly capable of fending for himself, and worst come to worst, there was always takeout if all the appliances suddenly decided to die at the same time.

"Alright, I am leaving now. I should be back sometime around noon tomorrow, so we can have lunch before I go out with them again. Are you certain you don't mind?" she asked the last portion hesitantly, almost in a way where it sounded as though she wanted him to object. He wouldn't. He valued the time he was actually alone.

"No. Go have fun, just not too much. I don't want to see you on the news for being arrested," he told her with a smile. Really though, it would be a good laugh if it happened.

She nodded, throwing her arms around him and kissing him. He was too surprised to do much more than stand there awkwardly. "I love you," she whispered against his lips, giving him a deep longing look. It unnerved him just a little as she never acted like that—ever—not even in her most 'womanly' moments.

"I will see you tomorrow," she smiled and rushed out the door, purse under her arm and keys dangling in her gasp. Mello chalked it up to one of those strange moments husbands just did not understand and went to serve himself some food.

Most of the weekend without her, and he had no idea what he should do first.

.

.

Matt was doubled over, gasping for breath, arms holding his sides as he laughed. Mello was having trouble holding back his own laughter. A smile split his face as he watched the other.

He had invited Matt over the second his mother had swept Sam off for a bit of shopping, and they had rented a movie off the television as they played a board game out of, well, boredom. The game lay forgotten, however, being used as a giant sized coaster for their drinks as they watched the movie. It was some Asian horror flick that was anything but.

The death scenes were horribly done to the point of laughter—and in Matt's case—tears. "That is not even physically possible!" Matt shouted at the screen, wiping his eyes.

"This isn't even worth the dollar I paid for it," Mello agreed. It failed as horror, though in the absurd entertainment factor, it scored good marks. So long as Matt was enjoying himself, then Mello didn't care what they were watching.

"After this, I'm choosing the movie, and we are starting a new game. No more of this monopoly crap." Matt finished off his soda, moving it to the floor as he cleaned up the game. Mello watched him for a moment, noticing for the first time the slight form of muscles that moved under the fabric of his striped shirt.

He stared until Matt looked back at him, head cocked to the side and asked "What?"

"I was just seeing how much I could get you to clean up for me," he grinned and dodged the game piece that was thrown.

In reality, he had no idea why he was staring.

.

.

**AN**: Another update! Le gasp! :)

ok this is taken from an anon review on another story, but it works well as i'm not good with words.

"Just a warning to all, a group called Critics United is currently going around and mass reporting on Any story they deem to be breaking FF rules. This includes, but is not limited to: stories with MA or above rated content, though now they're claiming any kind of lemon is breaking the rules, Songfic's, any story that seems "Semi-hostile" to them, and any stories with polls, authors notes, or otherwise in place of an actual chapter update, you could even end up accidentally putting your story into what they view as being the "incorrect category" and they'll report you for it. The stories are being deleted with little to no warning given, often within hours of one of their members locating it. If you want try to help stop the "cleansing" of this site and protest their bullying go to: www . change petitions/ fanfiction-net-stop-the-destruction-of-fanfiction-net and sign the petition in hopes of helping to stop the destruction of FF . net!"

**Special thanks to reviewers**: KuroChaos01, Awesomenessknowsnobounds, LadyJoLee, Carottal, foreverunloved, Valentine's Vocation, goldenpaw, CatatonicVanity, keono, Deadly Nightshade1395

review plez?


	7. Part 3: Section 2

Part 3

_-The Fall_-

Section 2

"I know it's a bit late—or way early if you want—for your birthday, but since I only recently found out it was two months ago, I figured I would kidnap you now." Matt fidgeted nervously in front of him as he spoke. They were in Matt's car after he had phoned, saying he needed help with something, which had obviously been a cover. He had driven over to Matt's apartment and had immediately been whisked away into the Camaro and told that his family knew exactly what was going on. Which hadn't comforted him in the least.

"Here we are," Matt smiled proudly, parking in a lot Mello had never expected to be in. "I know how much you love guns, but there was no way I was letting you fire live rounds at me or paintballs. Those things fucking hurt."

Mello snorted, biting his lip for a moment before deciding that yeah, he had the best friend a guy could ask for. "I can still blind you with the lasers though."

"Damn it!" Matt laughed, shoving him playfully as he exited the car.

Matt had taken him out for laser tag... which he had never done before. And he supposed it was obvious as he actually listened to the instructions and needed a little help getting the damn gear on. In his defense, the strap had gotten stuck where he couldn't reach it.

He held the gun tight in his hand, grinning in anticipation as the field was cleared of the last players. "I am really thankful it's not loaded with that expression," Matt mumbled, standing at his entrance a few feet away. "And what are you doing? Go to your own entrance. I want to beat you fair and square."

Mello snorted. "Matt, I don't care how much of a gamer you are, guns are guns, and that's my area." He kissed the tip of the faux gun and raced through the entrance as the lights dimmed and the countdown began.

A space theme had been chosen, and they were alone for the duration. Adrenaline began to pump through his veins as he crouched behind large 'rocks'. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and rolled out of the way as the beam from Matt's laser shown out. A muffled swear and the lack of beeping sound had him grinning. Matt hadn't hit.

Leaping over something that looked like a neon planet, he spun around and tagged Matt in the chest before ducking out of the way, retreating into the dark maze. Bringing the gun up to his face, he leaned against a prop, chest moving faster than normal. He felt like a kid again, a kid with a big plastic gun.

He stalked out from behind his shelter, knowing the twisted game of hide and seek needed to continue.

Various amounts of hits taken later by both sides and the countdown was down to twenty seconds. Mello dashed out from behind the spaceship, gun blazing and squeezing the trigger like a madman. Only a few connected before Matt disappeared.

Ten seconds and Mello had run after him, turning the corner only to find no one there and seemingly no exit. "The fuck?" Going in a complete circle, he stopped when there was no sign of him.

Five seconds. A sound behind him made him turn, gun pointed and squeezed at Matt's chest, the vest going off as his laser connected. Only, Matt's gun was pointed at his head, connecting as well. Fuck.

"Times up! Please make your way to the exit-"

The lights slowly turned on, giving their eyes time to adjust, yet neither of them had moved. A grin slowly appeared on Matt's face. "That was fucking awesome." He dropped his gun and slung an arm across Mello's shoulders, tugging him to the exit.

"I think we should make this a birthday tradition. I really enjoyed it," Mello confessed, breath evening out as the adrenaline high wore off, leaving him tired and oddly fulfilled.

They took off the gear as they waited for the results to be calculated, and when they were displayed, there was a long moment of silence. "You have got to be kidding me."

"A tie? Really? Ha! You didn't beat me," Matt snorted, pointing his gun at him childishly.

"It had to have been that last fucking headshot you gave me! Damn it, now we definitely have to go again," he smiled toward the end to let Matt know he really didn't mind.

"We can go every few months if you want rather than just special occasions. I mean, only if you want," Matt suggested.

"I'd like that." Mello followed his friend out of the establishment, smiling like a fool and feeling more alive than he had in years. Maybe all he had really needed was a friend.

.

.

"Hmmmm," he moaned graciously, back of his head hitting the tile. He tried to remain relatively quiet, however, not wanting Sam to join him in case she heard.

Giving his sex a squeeze, he ran his nails over the vein as he stroked himself. It was just as he liked it, something that hadn't been grasped by his wife. Muttering softly, he bucked into his hand, loving the feeling even if the grip was a little slippery from the water reigning raining down on him.

He quickened the strokes, feeling himself beginning to drop off; that sweat sweet burning in his loins and the tightening of his muscles.

"Yes," he groaned, "Matt!"

He froze, semen splattering the shower door only to be washed away a second later. "Fuck me." Why had he said Matt's name, of all fucking people, why Matt's? I think this would read better if you did "Matt's name? Of all fucking people, why Matt's?"

Biting his lip, he gently continued to stroke himself, milking the last of euphoria before he dealt with his slip up. It was a problem. A very large problem. One he wasn't about to deal with dripping wet and naked, if at all.

Shower ruined, he shut the water off and toweled dry. Wiping the steam from the mirror, he looked at himself. He was gay. Matt was a very good friend and happened to be a guy. A good looking guy. The only good looking guy he knew. So it wasn't unreasonable he had latched onto that, right?

That had to be it. Because friendship and attraction didn't mix.

"Just friends," he mumbled, turning away from the mirror. Because when he looked in the mirror, he couldn't lie.

.

.

Mello stared, annoyed at Matt as he greeted him from across the room. He didn't care if it was his birthday, he was still annoyed. Sam looked questioningly at him as she hung off his arm loosely. They had been invited over to Mr. Jeevas's house for Matt's birthday, a birthday Matt had only seen fit to tell him about a week ago, saying that he had forgotten. He could have strangled him.

It was alright though. He had gotten Matt a gag gift or two, things from Spencer's that his mother would probably kill him for. It would be worth it though, seeing Matt open them, completely unaware while everyone was there. Matt's real gifts would be given at a later time. He had gotten him a few gaming related things as well as some shirts with questionable sayings; and though he couldn't believe it, a pack of flavored cigarettes. He doubted Matt would appreciate the flavor, however.

"You two are just in time. We thought you might have gotten lost," Mr. Jeevas greeted them, though he preferred to be called Martin.

"Sam couldn't find her necklace again," Mello told them, watching as his mother frowned at her, and his wife flushed and pulled away from him, looking awkward. Matt grinned widely at him, and the day felt like it would be a good one.

They ate Matt's favorite meal which was Sheppard's Pie, a food his mother would generally scoff at. Desert had been an extravagant ice cream cake with twenty-five striped candles littered underneath of Matt's name, written in red lettering. Once everyone had eaten a piece or two, the rest being divvied up to take home and set in the freezer until then, it was gift time.

Mello sat anxiously on the arm chair by himself, his mother, father, and Sam on the couch and Mr. Jeevas leaning against the fireplace as Matt opened the small pile of gifts. He didn't pay attention to what Matt had gotten from his father, only noting that it seemed to be something Matt liked as a genuine look of gratitude had been exchanged between the two.

Mello almost opened his mouth when Matt reached for the black wrapped gift, however remained silent as the gift bag off to the side was taken instead. It was how he had wanted it.

Matt had the bag in his lap, glancing over at him as he read the card attached. "What did you get me, hmm Mello?" Matt shoved his hand inside the bag rifling around, pulling out tissue paper until there was a small forest littered around him. "That's all you put in there, isn't it?" Matt joked, and Mello almost wished he had as it would have still had entertainment value.

The last of the tissue paper was moved away and confusion spread across Matt's features before he laughed loudly, taking out the 'ass' tray. It was a black ashtray with an ass sticking up in the middle with a nice hole to put the cigarette in...

"Mihael!" his mother gasped even as the other occupants stifled laughter to various degrees. She was always so prudish when it didn't suit her to be.

"You know what? I'm going to put that on my coffee table and use it." Matt was grinning so widely Mello thought his face might split. His mother on the other hand looked like she was going to faint. Oh well.

Matt placed it carefully to the side and reached for another package, one not from him. Mello sat back, smoothing out his features as he watched some striped shirts being pulled free. That had been the tame gift. The decoy. No one would expect there to be more from him.

Mello straightened up as Matt picked up the last gift, the black package from him. The paper was ripped off and the top lifted. Matt's jaw dropped.

"For those nights you get lonely," he winked at Matt whose face nearly matched his hair. Mello couldn't help but laugh since Matt wasn't the type to get embarrassed easily. He had gotten him a male 'love' doll, a vibrator, and a mini bondage kit.

Matt's father walked over and looked in the box before Matt could put the lid back on, and he laughed heartily. "He's got you pegged." Matt groaned and shot his father a look that begged for him to stop talking.

Matt slapped the lid shut and didn't show anyone else, though they seemed to get that it was something naughty. Mello wondered what Matt's reaction meant, however, as it hadn't been what he expected.

.

.

"He looks way better in this movie, dropped the weight he gained for the last one... nicely toned too," Matt muttered, head cocking to the side as they watched the movie. It had become common place for them to get together for a 'man night' as Sam put it, once a week, usually on the weekend.

Mello had to agree with him, nodding and only thinking the statement odd when he actually processed what Matt had said. He let it go, however, as it wasn't a crime for guys to notice those things. He noticed Matt glance at him from out of the corner if his eye and felt the couch move when Matt shifted awkwardly on it. "Fuck it. Mello, I'm gay."

Mello turned and stared. Well fuck, that sort of complicated things, didn't it? He was gay, Matt was gay; and why the fuck was he even having those thoughts?

"Mello...?"

He snapped out of it and smiled at Matt. "So, does this mean you kept your birthday gifts then?" Easiest way to say he was fine with it and make a dig at the same time. Humor always worked. It also was a great distraction from the way his pulse had suddenly quickened, his stomach queasy with butterflies...

What he didn't expect, and what most certainly did not help his body's current revolt, was Matt to quickly turn away, face flushed in a way Mello was quite taking a liking to. His mind flashed to what Matt might have done, might have looked like using those gifts... Clenching his fists, he forced the images away.

"Unexpected, but at least I know none of the gifts I gave you will go to waste." He forced a grin, it turning into a real one as Matt groaned, palming his face.

"You aren't going to let this go, are you?"

"Never," Mello said immediately. "Now stop sulking. You shouldn't have told me if you can't handle a little teasing." He reached out and shoved Matt playfully in the shoulder.

"Do you wish I hadn't? Told you, I mean?" Matt asked, eyes now focused on him intently.

"No."

_Yes, _because now Mello couldn't get it out of his mind. Matt was gay, Matt might be attainable, and he was having a hard time rationalizing why that made him so damn _elated_. Before, Matt had merely been the best friend, the straight best friend he might have had an attraction to. Now? Now he wished he'd had the balls to tell his parents he was gay in the first place.

Matt smiled so brightly that it made Mello's insides squirm. Matt was genuinely relieved that he did not have an issue with it.

"Damn it. When did the movie end?" Matt groaned, leaning off the couch to retrieve the remote, clicking on 'scene selection' to go back to where they had left off. His shirt rode up in the process, exposing parts of his back, the curve of his spine, and what almost looked like the hint of a tattoo.

He had to look away, focus on the movie that was playing once again, because if he didn't, then he might do something he would most definitely regret later.

_Damn it, Matt_, he thought, _why couldn't you just keep it to yourself?_

.

.

**AN**: Another quick update...don't get used to the spoiling hahaha,

And I am sure some have seen this floating around, I just happened to post my last update and forget to add it XD

I so stole this from a review, which was anon so not like I can give credit, but yeah...

"Just a warning to all, a group called Critics United is currently going around and mass reporting on Any story they deem to be breaking FF rules. This includes, but is not limited to: stories with MA or above rated content, though now they're claiming any kind of lemon is breaking the rules, Songfic's, any story that seems "Semi-hostile" to them, and any stories with polls, authors notes, or otherwise in place of an actual chapter update, you could even end up accidentally putting your story into what they view as being the "incorrect category" and they'll report you for it. The stories are being deleted with little to no warning given, often within hours of one of their members locating it. If you want try to help stop the "cleansing" of this site and protest their bullying go to: www . change petitions/ fanfiction-net-stop-the-destruction-of-fanfiction-net and sign the petition in hopes of helping to stop the destruction of FF . Net! "

I will probably remove this bit after I update again. As of right now, this is the last chapter I have. Waiting on beta again hahaha. The you will have to wait for me to get back into an editing mood XD. Oops. Till then

_**Special thanks**: IcontrolAllYaoi, KuroChaos01, Carottal, goldenpaw, Keono, CatatonicVanity_

_review?_


	8. Part 3: Section 3

Part 3

_-The Fall_-

Section 3

The sound of heaving coming from the bathroom had Mello cringing from his post in the bed. Sam had run in there only a few seconds after waking up, leaving the door half open as in the process.

Sighing, he got up. Time to play husband.

She had been fine the night before, if only a little tired from work. Apparently, it had been more than that. He did not knock before stepping into the bathroom, flicking on the light as he did so. Scrunching up her face in disgust, she slammed the lid shut and flushed.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, which in retrospect was a rather stupid question, seeing as she had just spilled her guts quite literally. He helped her off the floor, though her grip on him was strong.

"Honestly I feel fine." She went to the sink and splashed water into her mouth a few times before grabbing the toothbrush out of the medicine cabinet. He stared at her. Fine? He scoffed.

"Mihael- oh fine 'Mello,'" she sighed heavily at his expression, "I felt queasy and I threw up, but I honestly don't feel the way I usually do when sick." She squirted toothpaste on and shoved the brush into her mouth.

He scrutinized her for a moment, noting that she was not pale or sweaty in the least. She appeared alright, but he wanted to err on the side of caution. He may not love her in any sense of the word, but that did not mean he wanted her to collapse later on with a fever or something.

"You are staying home today, and I expect you to take it easy. I'll come around by lunch if you need me to. I'm sure my father will let me if you are not feeling well," he told her in a tone that left no room for negotiation.

She sighed around her toothbrush, rolling her eyes. Satisfied she would listen to him, he exited the bathroom. He was up, so he might as well prepare for work. He could not wait until the weekend again.

.

.

He sped up the on ramp and around the few cars clustered by the merge lane. The arms around him tightened, making him smile despite the way the wind hurt his teeth. He revved the engine and went faster, the surprised laugh from right next to his ear spurring him to test his limits.

He and Matt were on the way back from the area's largest spring festival. It might not have sounded like it would be all that entertaining, but on the contrary, it had been an amazing night. They had gotten there around sundown to find all the multicolored lights decorating the fairgrounds already lit, the special events about to kick off as the sun disappeared.

Samantha had been off doing a parent-child dinner thing, so he had called Matt up to do something. Matt had mentioned the fair, and Mello had picked him up.

They had done the normal things like walking through the specialty buildings, gawking at the prices of the small gift stands, and even buying a few things. But Matt had also gotten it into his brain that they needed to have at least one alcoholic drink while they were there. Mello had thought it was just an excuse to do whatever he wanted later on.

Drinks in hand, they had sat on the bleachers to watch the entertainment of the seven o'clock hour. The band was actually pretty good, a cover band of some sort. The bands switched at eight to something with an almost underlying techno flair to it, and Matt had stood up, impish grin plastered across his lips, and asked if he wanted to dance.

When he had declined, the expression on his face clearly doubting Matt's sanity, the redhead in question had shrugged, stood up, and started dancing in place. Mello had turned away, pretending not to know the crazy person dancing next to him. At least until Matt had started humming along, tossing his arms above his head and doing random motions, more goofy than any serious dancing.

Matt had caught his eye and wagged his eyebrows. Mello hadn't been able to take it anymore and bent over laughing. "Come on, Mello. Dance with me." Matt stopped and held out his hand, smiling encouragingly. He had given in and let Matt pull him up.

Matt did not let go of his hand, taking his other in fact, and used the surprise to spin him. He had given Matt a look that stated 'don't do that again' to which Matt had smiled innocently and done precisely that. He had glared but continued to dance, unable to stay annoyed.

Vertigo had caught up as he shut his eyes to dance, and it almost sent him toppling off the bleachers. Matt's hands on his hips had stopped the sway and though his heart had leapt to his mouth, he hadn't stopped, didn't dare. He had let Matt guide his movements, and despite it being carefree, he had not been able to focus on anything other than the heat of those hands on him.

Despite being twirled like a girl twice, he'd had fun. A lot of fun actually. At least until the people around them told them to piss off for being distracting.

They had burst into laughter and, with Matt leading the way, run down the bleachers. There had been a little more drinking, and a lot more eating of junk food like fried Oreos and frozen chocolate covered bananas. Things had wound down, for them at least, sometime around eleven.

That had led to the partially reckless driving along the highway.

Matt pressed himself closer, the touch sending chills along Mello's spine. He almost felt high. Like nothing could touch him in that moment; nothing could go wrong with just him and Matt together. It was a liberating feeling.

Seeing their exit, he slowed down a little but still took the turn far faster than safety called for. He leaned bodily into it, Matt following suit, and somehow, the motorcycle didn't crash. Matt yelled out happily, pumping a fist in the air as they straightened out; Mello let out an answering laugh.

"God damn, Mello. That was awesome!" Matt yelled in his ear, leaning heavily against him. "We should go for a ride another time when we aren't half drunk," Matt snickered, and Mello could imagine his expression being one of excitement.

"Yeah, Matt," he paused, "We can do that." He closed his eyes, savoring the moment.

"Mello, I think my apartment is the other direction." Matt sounded like he was grinning, and he probably was. The moment was broken, but there would be new ones so long as Matt was around.

.

.

Mouth open in a silent moan, Mello's eyes shot open. Heart thudding in his chest, he licked his lips, trying to keep himself silent. His whole body was on fire, senses tingling and craving the touch felt in his dreams.

That body, those eyes...

"Fuck," he whispered. He had woken up at the climax of the dream, his own body so painfully close it was disgusting. His fingers trailed to his boxers where his erection waited impatiently for attention.

Sam stirred beside him, waking from the sunlight streaming into her eyes. They had slept in if the sun was out; he just wished she had slept longer. She rolled over, hand sleepily trailing over his chest and accidentally brushing against his cock. A coy smile spread over her face, eyes cracking open.

He didn't protest her hand sneaking into his boxers, stroking him a little. He needed to get the images out of his mind, needed to forget the dream had even existed.

She lay on the bed underneath him, eyes begging for sex even as her body woke slowly from its slumber. He placed kisses on her breasts, swirling his tongue over the nipples as he fucked her.

He tried to get into it, tried to want her: her skin, her face, her long hair splayed over the pillow, her supple breasts... but all he could think was that she just couldn't compare to Matt, even in dream form.

She moaned, arching into him, nails merely skimming his back as she ran her hands over him. Closing his eyes, he easily pictured the sinful body, the body he craved, the body he could never have.

"Oh, Mihael!"

Because he was married to Samantha. To a woman. And that was that.

.

.

He had just gotten back from Matt's place after a morning out with him that had included breakfast at a place his parents would have scoffed at. It had been nice. The door was open when he tried the lock, which was not exactly strange seeing as his mother's car was in the driveway.

"Oh Mihael, there you are," his mother greeted him in a rather pleasant mood which immediately set off warning bells in his mind; she had a light sweater in hand as well as her purse.

"Did you just get here?" he questioned, already beginning to wonder if he should have taken the long way home.

"No, I am actually leaving. I was here two hours ago. I had hoped to speak with you but instead, I ended up with a very... enlightening chat with Samantha." She shifted her sweater a little, an odd smile directed at his wife. "I will see the both of you some time this week I am certain." She patted Mello on the arm and stepped from the house.

"What was that all about?" he turned to Sam with a questioning gaze. There was obviously something going on, and though the immediate thought was that it did not bode well for him, he was willing to give it the benefit of the doubt.

"Oh, nothing really. Just a personal chat. You would not be interested in all the gory details." She smiled sweetly at him, her face a little flushed. Placing a hand on her forehead, he noted that she was a little warm despite the house being nice and cool with the windows open.

"You feel like you're running a fever. Your health has been going all over the place lately. What was the talk about that?" Mello brushed the thought of her dying out of his mind. He didn't want her dead, just out of his life.

"Yes and it's nothing to worry about. Your mother actually believes it is allergies. I have made an appointment at the doctor's to satisfy the both of you," she told him with a slight dip in her smile. She was obviously lying a little, but to what end, he did not know.

If his mother knew about it, then it was hardly serious, perhaps even embarrassing enough to keep a secret until it was taken care of. It could even be as stupid as a surprise party for someone, and he wasn't going to make waves because of that. He would never profess to understand women, so he let it go.

"When is the appointment?" he asked instead. Sam smiled brightly at him, obviously thankful for him not perusing it. "It is on Friday, though I expect there to be blood work done, so who knows when that will come in. Hopefully by the fourth so we can all enjoy the day."

He nodded, stepping into the hallway to kick off his shoes into the designated spot. The fourth of July, also known as another party date. He wouldn't complain too much as it meant he had off of work. It was the little things in life, right?

"Mihael, can you come help me start on dinner. It is a roast and needs to cook for-"

He sighed. No time for relaxation.

.

.

He set a cup of coffee in front of Matt before joining him on the couch, putting his feet up since no one else was home. Matt thanked him softly, eagerly reaching out to take the cup and sip it. Mello shook his head, smiling.

They had just gotten back from the country club's gun range, and while it was not exhausting in the least, it was nice to just sit back with a cup of coffee after an afternoon gone well. Matt was going to be staying for dinner that night, not that Sam knew. They had gotten back early so preparations could be made.

"We should probably get our own guns to bring," Matt murmured around the cup, gulping the remainder of it down. Mello snorted, "Only if it can be kept at your place. I can only imagine the fiasco that would occur if my mother went snooping here and found a gun. Her seeing me in leather was bad enough."

Matt nodded in sympathy, finally having accepted that their parents were far too different to be comparable. "Better make sure you change before Samantha gets home then. Your luck, your mother will be with her."

Mello groaned, knowing that to be the truth. Heaving himself off the couch, he left Matt alone as he changed into a band shirt and a pair of well worn jeans. His mother said he looked 'frumpy' in them, like she expected him to wear suits and dress shirts year round.

He padded barefoot across the wood flooring in the hallway, his feet giving away that he was back. "Took you long enough. Have trouble getting out of the leather?" Matt teased.

"Not at all, but I certainly wouldn't have called you for help if I had," he smirked as Matt's expression fell into something he might have called indignant.

"Maybe I should leave you and the wife alone for a romantic dinner tonight instead," Matt said slyly.

"You wouldn't." Mello frowned despite the knowledge that Matt would not actually do that, or so he hoped. He sat beside him again, eyes narrowing the more he thought on it. He would, the bastard actually would! Matt simply sat there with a smile, playing innocent when he knew damn well what conclusion Mello had come to. "See if I ever come over when you need help with something," he grumbled, crossing his legs Indian style on the couch.

Matt laughed at him, "Stop being so dramatic today. I won't leave you to the wolves when I said I would stay."

Mello sighed. If he kept acting this way, Matt would eventually start asking questions, ones he did not want to answer about Sam or his life. He knew Matt wouldn't understand.

"Mello." Matt poked him in the side, getting his attention instantly with the childish gesture. "You spaced out, everything alright?"

"Yeah," he smiled gratefully. "I just don't want to get up to start the preparations." What was one little lie?

Matt leaned over, glancing at the clock across the room. "There is still plenty of time. I think we got here too early," Matt told him, eyes resting on his face. Mello realized just how close they were now that Matt's attention was back on him. It was unnerving and yet thrilling.

Matt did not say a word, did not look away. His gaze was intense and so very deep. He leaned closer, his breath dancing across Mello's lips. God how Mello wanted it, so badly his heart wanted to jump out his mouth onto the floor. Closing his eyes and letting Matt do it would be so _easy_. He knew Matt wanted it now too.

"I can't. I have a wife." Mello pulled back, seeing the disappointment in Matt's gaze.

He just couldn't do it. Samantha was what was expected of him, what his parents wanted for him. The job, the house, the family, was all what they had pushed him for. He simply could not break away, not like this. He _would not_ cheat. It went against everything he had been taught, everything that had been forced into him.

Matt pulled back, shaking his head, eyes sad. Mello had never seen that look on him and knew he never wanted to again. He opened his mouth to say...well something, anything to make the rejection better, but Matt put his hand up, standing. "Don't, Mello."

"You know, I never took you for someone to live a lie. Have a good life." Matt gave him one last look before leaving the room, walking into the kitchen, and Mello knew exactly when he was gone. The front door slammed shut.

Mello put his face in his hands and screamed.

-End Part 3-

**AN:** Sorry for the long wait between updates. I just really was NOT in an editing mood. Bad excuse i know. sorry XD. I have a new fic out inspired by the recently ended Shark Week 2012, it is called **Must Love Sharks**. It is of course DN and MM :D

I also have about 6 oneshot/drabbles that will be posted in the next week or so. I am getting busy at work so I don't know when they will be up exactly. I will try to update THIS fic soon after i get the rest from my beta. :)

**Disclaimer**: I do not own or make money from the anime Death note

review?


	9. Part 4

**Disclaimer**: I do not own or make money from the anime Death Note...if I did Near would have lost as he was originally intended to and there would have been lots of yaoi for the M's..

**Suggested Listening**: Save Me** by** My Darkest Days

Believe **by** Rob Thomas

~Section 4~

_-Freedom_-

Mello threw his phone across the room, watching as it landed with a loud smack against a couch cushion. It wouldn't be damaged, but at this point, a fracture in the screen would have been satisfying. He could not count how many times, just today, he had called Matt only for it to get cut off or go to voice mail. He was clearly being ignored, and it was not just over the phone.

He had gone over to Matt's apartment a few times, times he knew for a fact Matt would be there, and had not gotten an answer. He had even seen his damn car in the lot! The bastard was _blatantly_ ignoring him. It was fucking ridiculous.

He chose being 'normal' over Matt, so fucking what? Why couldn't Matt understand that it wasn't easy for him, that not every decision was black and white. He didn't have parents that could look into a gift box of sex toys and laugh about it. He had no one else to talk with about this either. Matt _was_ that person. He was stuck, had no clue what to do. It wasn't fucking fair.

Mello sank down the wall, knees sliding up to his chest as he came to rest on the floor. Hiding his face, he sighed. He would leave Matt alone for a while to cool off. After all, bugging him obviously wasn't working out very well.

Surely giving him some time would be the best thing, right?

.

"The person you are trying to reach is not available at this time-" He stared at the phone, disbelief and frustration coursing through him. That message could have meant a million different things, including service interruption or an unpaid bill. Mello didn't believe either of those. In fact, it was probably accurate to say that either Matt had shut his phone off or was in the process of blocking him. His shoulders slumped. It hurt...it hurt a lot.

He had not spoken to or seen Matt since the day the redhead had walked out on him. And it was becoming clear that Matt intended to keep it that way at least for some time. His stomach sank, the feeling jittery and unpleasant. He might have just lost his best friend. And all because of a person he did not love. He glanced to the closed bathroom door, a foul look descending over his lips.

It wasn't all her fault. She had just fallen in love with the wrong person. Probably pressured into it like he had been. However, her feelings seemed genuine. He was the problem because he couldn't break away. It was _normal_. To want things you could never have. It had been his entire life thus far; it was unhappy but it was _normal_.

"I wish you had never come back." Everything had been fine before Matt, boring and normal but _almost_ bearable. Then Matt had come back into his life and turned everything upside down. It was probably accurate to say that he had not had a friend, a true friend, since childhood, and Matt had been it. Matt was different from every person he knew in his life: he didn't follow the social norms dictated by higher society, he didn't dress or act the way they did nor expect anything from him other than friendship.

Or at least he hadn't.

Mello collapsed into the bed, curling onto his side and facing away from the bathroom. He missed him. He wanted him. He _loved_ him, had almost had him. "Mihael, don't tell me you went back to sleep!" The bathroom door creaked open and steam cut through the cool air just as Sam's voice cut through his thoughts.

He might have messed up, thrown away something good. But they could have stayed friends even if the attraction was still there. It worked in the movies, right? Surely it worked sometimes in the 'real world too…

"Hey sleepyhead, we need to go grocery shopping, remember? If we wait, everything will be gone. It's almost the fourth, you know." Her damp body pressed against his back, no towel to be found.

"We will go in a few minutes, alright? It won't take me that long to get dressed." He could almost see her lips pressed into a pout, or maybe a frown. He wasn't in the mood for games right now. He just wanted to have his moment of misery, regroup, and pretend that it wasn't a knife wound to the chest every time his phone rang and it wasn't Matt.

.

.

The front door was opened, and Martin Jeevas walked in, carrying two plates of food that were eagerly swept from his hands so he could get settled. Mello looked on anxiously and visibly sighed when no one came in after him. Why had he even hoped Matt would show up?

"Matt is home sick—wasn't feeling well when he woke up. So needless to say, he won't be here today," Martin said with a small shrug, obviously unconcerned.

Mello snorted quietly. "Sure he is. Phone must have broke too," he muttered. It stung. There was no denying it; he had really wanted to see him. Yet he pushed all feelings of the matter away. There was just no time to deal with it at the moment. Last thing he needed was for them to gang up on him and demand to know why Matt had not been seen in his company for a while. With the way Mr. Jeevas was looking at him, he might have to stay away from him the entire Fourth of July party; he obviously knew something about the situation or simply discerned something was wrong.

His mother had already been acting weird since he had gotten there, like she was ready to attack him over something. Generally speaking, she wasn't one to hold back. Many embarrassing moments in public attested to that, so it had him as curious as it had him weary.

He moved to lean against the wall by the buffet they had set up. For now there were just snacks out, the actual dinner portion being cooked by the staff; only finger foods and desert had been homemade. Sam had a small plate in her hand—mostly things he had never seen her touch before—as she conversed with his mother in quiet whispers.

Something finally seemed to be decided, and his mother looked away, smiling like the cat that ate the canary. "Alright, now that everyone is here and the festivities are about to begin, there is something Samantha wishes to announce," she looked adoringly at his wife, wrinkled face smiling with her dark lipstick coated lips turned into a pleased smile.

"Well, after Sybil asked me to go to the doctor's for the fever I had been running, I found out that I was pregnant," she smiled nervously around, hands twisting the bottom of her blouse.

Mello stepped away from the wall in shock. Pregnant? _You dirty whore, it's not possible. Not from me_. He was angry, livid actually. He wanted to go over there and smack the smile off her face, tell her all the things he kept bottled inside. Tell her he was gay, that he liked it up the ass, that he thought she was boring. Anything to hurt her. He did not love her, but he had given up _everything_ for her.

Had she wanted a baby so fucking bad that she would cheat to get what she wanted?

"Mihael?" she looked at him with her doe eyes, and though he could have hit her, he kept his calm. For the moment at least.

"That is wonderful." Now was not the time to make a scene. It would be done in private or not at all. "Why did you wait to tell me?" He rubbed a hand over her flat stomach, and she flushed at the touch. How had he not noticed this? When had she done it? What outing...or outings had been a cover?

"I wanted to surprise you." She bit her lip, looking at him coyly.

"You certainly did," he muttered with just a touch of irritation.

"Congratulations, Mihael-" Mr. Jeevas said, clearly a little startled at the news. It fed his assumption that the man knew a bit about the 'Matt' situation.

"You finally gave me a grand-baby. I always knew you could," his mother gave him a quick hug, kissing him on the cheek. He almost felt sorry for her for when she found out, but in part, this was a product of her making. She pushed people too hard, and Mello had no doubt she had worked her voodoo on Samantha as well.

Still, it had been Samantha's choice in the end. Just as it had been his choice to push Matt away. It was a mistake, a grievous error he was going to remedy soon. For now, however, it was time to play the happy husband, eat dinner with his family, and pretend that everything was fine.

.

Her chest rose and fell under the covers as she slept; she was finally in a deep enough sleep that he could slip away. He untangled their limbs and crawled from the bed. He made sure to close the bedroom door securely before he flipped the hall light on.

Retrieving his phone, he sat on the couch and called his lawyer.

.

He had taken anything really important—like his passport, bank cards, his leather, etc—and had loaded it onto the back of his motorcycle in a bag. It wasn't that he didn't plan to return, but he knew that some people got a little crazy with breakups and divorces, and he would rather his things not get burned up if he could easily prevent it.

The lawyer would be giving Samantha a wake-up call sometime soon to deliver the news and ask that when she get the papers to sign them promptly. It was with a light heart that he had filed for divorce the night before.

Regardless of what had happened, it felt freeing, like he could finally be happy. It was almost unbelievable in a way. Like a dream of some sort. It was real though. It would just take a while to kick in. Grinning, he pulled out of the driveway as quietly as one could with a motorcycle.

He wanted to go straight to Matt's, but with how early it was, his visit was certain to be even more unwelcome, so he resigned himself to getting breakfast while he waited for it to turn at least eight. He sat inside a café that opened early, bag in his lap. Rubbing his eyes, yawning a little, he wished he had gotten more sleep. He had been up late with the lawyer and slept on the couch so his alarm would not wake Sam.

Sipping his coffee, Mello watched as the line at the counter got longer and longer as it neared the deadline for travelers to be at work or at least most of the way there. He smirked; at least arriving when he did meant he had not waited.

His phone went off, noticeable only to him and those at the tables around him. "Mihael, what in heaven's name were you thinking?! She is pregnant-"

Mello pulled the phone from his ear, scrunching his face up indignantly as his ear rang. "Mother, hold on a moment," he told her, keeping the phone from his ear as he heard the screech of _'Are you on drugs? Is that it?'_ It was time to go. He was not having this conversation in front of an audience. Grabbing his bag securely, he left the café and went to sit on the motorcycle.

Sighing heavily, he returned the phone to his ear. "I was in a café and couldn't hear you very well." Which might have been the truth had she not been screaming into the receiver.

"Mihael, you will call that lawyer and tell him you changed your mind. This is not a way to treat your wife after she tells you she's having a baby." His mother's voice was stern, forceful and demanding. But for once he wasn't going to listen.

"It's not mine-" he was cut off, eyes rolling in irritation.

"Oh for the love of— is that what this is about, fear of having a child? So you concoct some fantasy that it is not yours?"

"I'm sterile, mother. So it's not a fantasy. I'll fax you the doctor's results to prove it, so please kindly shut the fuck up for once." With that, he ended the call and placed the phone on vibrate only. He sat there silently for a moment before grinning. "That felt good," he breathed out with a laugh. He couldn't believe he had actually done that, something that had been a long time coming.

Taking a few more breaths, he calmed the almost giddy feeling welling up inside him. Glancing at the phone and knowing that it wouldn't be answered, he called on the off chance that his new found luck would stay. The eighth ring went by, and it hit voice-mail. He had not expected anything more and hoped that if he made enough noise, Matt would answer the door when he got there.

Securing his things again, he rolled off into the traffic, driving leisurely in comparison to his usual speed. There was no need to rush; getting there faster would not make things go any smoother. The cool morning had turned warm, and it was almost stifling by the time he had gotten to the more than familiar apartment.

He was homeless for the moment and probably should have been arranging himself a hotel, but he could not think of a better place to be than standing on Matt's doorstep, ringing the doorbell.

Mello rang it a second time a minute later and planned on doing just that until he was let inside or the cops were called. Which he wouldn't put past Matt to do. He pressed the small button again just as the door flung open, startling him.

"Mello." Matt's hair was damp but not wet, and his shirt had damp patches. He had been in the shower, if the Axe scent was anything to go on. "What is going on? I got a call from my dad a while ago saying that you-"

Mello couldn't hold back any longer, tugging Matt into a kiss as his things crashed to the floor. Matt's arms went around him, holding him close, fingers digging into his skin almost possessively. As though he expected him to pull away. He let himself be dragged into the apartment, roughly kicking his bag inside before Matt shut the door. Nice neighborhood or not, he wasn't chancing it.

Matt broke the kiss halfway to the bedroom. Mello already knew what the next set of word from his mouth would be and knew he didn't want to deal with it right now. Not after he was finally where he belonged. "I filed for divorce. I want you, Matt. More than I have anything before. Can we just leave it at that for now?"

Matt hesitated for a long moment before nodding. There was such a strong desire in Matt's eyes that only served to make him feel guilty for not kissing him when he should have. He was pulled flush against Matt, arms wrapped tight, simply holding him. It was intoxicating to be held like that, to be able to hold him back and know that he was free to do so.

Matt spoke softly into his ear, "I love you."

He shut his eyes, fingers squeezing the fabric of Matt's shirt tightly in his grasp. He knew Matt had wanted him but to hear him say it... things like that never happened in life.

Matt kissed along his ear, the feeling almost ticklish in a way, and down to his neck where the kissing became heavier. He tilted his neck, letting Matt nibble on his flesh, marking him taken. He sneaked his hands under Matt's shirt to feel him up, ran his fingers across Matt's stomach, his ribs, and up his back. He loved the feeling of Matt's skin underneath his nails, imagining the little marks he was leaving behind as he dragged his fingers all over him.

Matt let go of him, yanking his shirt off and tossing it to the side. All of his worries and all the stress from the last few years were quelled as he locked gazes with Matt. He would be alright, even if only for this moment, he could have what he wanted.

They fumbled with their clothing, lips reconnecting in the bedroom after he had been tossed onto the bed, Matt above him, hands in his hair. Gasping into the kiss, Mello arched into the grinding motion started by the eager redhead. He wanted this so fucking bad.

"Fuck foreplay," Matt whispered against his lips. Fingers were hastily pressed into him, sending a sharp burning sensation as they were scissored back and forth. Mello watched Matt's expression darken with lust as he rocked against his fingers, teasingly clenching around the digits. It lasted only a few moments before the fingers were yanked out, his body mourning the loss instantly.

Matt flipped him onto his stomach, swatting his backside gently to get him on his knees. His heart thumped in his throat, cock weeping in desire. He was getting it exactly how he wanted it, by who he wanted it-

His mouth opened in a silent cry, hands braced on the sheets as Matt thrust into him. It was painful, his body fighting the foreign object until a rhythm had been hashed out and he was stretched enough where pain ebbed into pleasure. "You alright?" Matt asked, brushing his hair back.

"Y-yeah." he stumbled over his words as Matt hit just the right spot for toe curling bliss.

Matt laughed breathily, taking hold of Mello's hair in a light grip and tugging his head back to view him. A moan ripped itself from his lips at the quick penetrating thrusts given and the look of absolute adoration in Matt's gaze as he fucked him. The feelings it brought forth in him were powerful, like something clawing its way from the depths of his very being and squeezing his chest.

"Oh god, Matt, fuck yes!" his words were a bit choked from the angle, but it only seemed to add to the appeal as Matt leaned into him harder, leaving no space between them. Matt kissed him. Even in the awkward position it was electrifying, leaving Mello wanting more when they parted.

A hand roamed his chest, pinching a nipple between heated fingers, drawing another moan from him as the hand on his dick made his thighs tremble. A tongue was dragged across his neck, hot and slippery before the bottom set of teeth brushed his skin sending him into a full body shudder.

Matt bit down, and he lost it, screaming out as he spilled across the sheets. He rocked back against Matt as he rode the decrescendo of pleasure, his body still being wonderfully abused behind him. The bite area was kissed at, hands gripping his hips, and he was rammed into until Matt finally hit his peak, a husky groan hitting his ears as cum hit his insides.

A few moments later found Matt collapsed beside him, rolled closer, kissing him heatedly even though his body tingled from the last round. He couldn't seem to get enough. Matt's hands settled at the curve of his ass, stroking the skin there softly and without purpose, making it clear there would be no immediate repeat. The kisses turned comfortable and fleeting until Mello simply lay half draped across the redhead, completely content.

Matt pressed a kiss to his forehead, sighing. "I know you don't want me to ask, but I want to know what changed your mind," he paused with a frown as if weighing something in his mind, "My dad called me this morning to say you had filed for divorce only hours after Sam announced she was pregnant; why?"

Mello groaned into his chest. Even now she was messing with him. He did owe Matt answers, however, and supposed it was time to confess everything. Propping an elbow on the bed and rested his head on the flat of his hand. "I never wanted to marry, especially not a woman. I am one hundred percent gay," he smiled ruefully at Matt, watching the confusion take hold.

"Then why did you?"

"Hush, Matty. You want to know, so let me speak." He shut his eyes for a moment to gather his thoughts. Where the hell to start? Should he say everything now or begin with just the main important parts?

"My mother is not exactly a person you can say no to, and growing up with her I learned to just deal with it, to cave to what she wanted when it became too much of a hassle. That's why when she _suggested _I get to know Samantha, I did," he slowly opened his eyes, gearing up for the main attraction; the smaller details could be filled in at later time.

"I know for a fact the baby is not mine. It literally can't be. I'm sterile. I just never told them." It felt good to tell Matt, to tell someone other than his mother just to get her off his back. He had no idea what he expected Matt's reaction to be. Whatever it was, silence had not been it.

Matt stared at him for a while, long enough to make him nervous. "You would have stayed with her if it wasn't for that." It was not a question but a statement. One Mello wished he could deny.

"Your family accepts you as you are, so you just don't get it. Mine only see what they want and ignore the rest. I just..." he trailed off and looked down, unable to face Matt's eyes any longer.

"You are a coward," Matt told him coolly. The words made him flinch. He knew it was probably the truth, but hearing it from Matt stung. "But we all make mistakes." Mello looked up sharply to see nothing but devotion in Matt's gaze. It was instant forgiveness. Matt caressed his cheek, thumbing a strand of hair off to the side.

He closed his eyes and leaned into the offered kiss. It was all he had ever wanted, everything he had never dreamed of getting.

And for the first time, Mello was happy.

-End Part 4-

**AN**: :D Love hate? Well there is still the epilogue to come, by friday if I have the time to look at what was sent back to me. At the end of it I will tell you what fic will be posted next, other than the continuation of Must love Sharks (which is now up to almost 20k in my folder...I know I need to update it but It's just little ol me looking it over right now)

Review?

**CALLING ALL BETAS:** If you are a beta or know a good one could you possibly send me a PM? There is nothing wrong with my current one, she just has a life hahaha. And I happen to have a LOT of fics not edited yet. I know there is an area to look for them but I figured I would ask here before I went into the mire that is the beta section... (I am looking into one on MB, you know who you are :D) But I need to get ahead of the game so I am looking for two at the moment.


	10. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **I still do not own or make money from the anime death note

**Suggested Listening**: I think I Will **by** Faith Hill

Epilogue

~_Home_~

Mello jammed his helmet on in a hurry, not bothering to fasten the straps as he sped away from the long day of testing, both written and practical. He would be late if he did not hurry, and he wasn't about to keep Matt waiting.

Matt…he smiled just thinking about him. He was truly the best thing that had ever and could ever happen to him. He had been the one to encourage and push him to go back to school for what he wanted after his father had fired him, which incidentally had not been any sort of surprise considering the fall out after the divorce.

Mello had not cared about the money lost, had his own bank account separate from the 'marital funds' that his parents couldn't freeze no matter how much they would love to; he could easily support himself for years on what he had saved. His mother, even a year since the divorce papers had been filed and finalized, still tried to badger him into a life with Samantha. She told him that it was only natural for his 'wife' to have made a mistake after he withheld such a large piece of information; they could have adopted after all. It was enough to make him scoff. He may have been wrong in hiding his sterility, but she made her own decisions; there was no way he was going back to that life, a life he hated. He had told his mother as much and still had a scar on his arm from where she had thrown a glass at him.

Matt, unlike the rest of those in his life, wanted him to reach for his dreams, to do everything he had never gotten the chance to or had the courage to go after. And he had.

Currently he held degrees in criminal law and psychology and had just taken his tests for forensics. Once that was under his belt and he felt certain he did at least well enough to scrape by, he could get to work pretty much anywhere in the field he wanted.

He zoomed past the yellow light and slid into the parking garage for the apartment and into his preferred spot. Cutting the engine and pocketing the key, Mello stretched his arms skyward in an attempt to relieve the day's worth of tension. Shaking the numbness from his legs, he made quick work of the distance between him and the apartment. Inserting the key, he pushed open the door to be greeted by silence.

He had always wanted to be normal. Perhaps an ideal ingrained in his mind since he was old enough to understand spoken words, maybe even why he let his mother dominate his life for so long. Normal meant having a family, a job, a wife, and kids. The latter two he had never wanted.

But for him, being gay _was_ normal. Being with Matt made him happy, not some fawning woman. Working crime scenes would be what made him happy, not working in a stuffy office or living in a lavish house, surrounded by things he didn't need or really have a use for.

Mello deposited his keys into the decorative ashtray on the counter; they clanked against another pair. Arms suddenly grabbed him from behind, spinning him around to face his attacker. Mello smiled into the offered kiss.

"How did it go?" Matt asked, arms still holding him in place close to him.

"I think I passed, but I can never tell with these damn tests. I always wonder if I should have given more detail or looked at something differently than I have," Mello sighed heavily, finally feeling a little fatigued.

"I'm certain this will be just another milestone. Which in that case, I say I take you out to dinner for an early celebration." Matt smiled widely at him, as if to say he had been planning this the entire time.

"But I just got home," he protested. In truth he always enjoyed where Matt took him, each place never being the same and always an adventure. "I will make it worth your while," the grin Matt gave him was positively Cheshire.

"Oh, well in that case, I guess I should get dressed into something with more leather?" he teasingly slid his hands to Matt's waist, playing with his belt buckle.

"You're horrible!" Matt laughed, pushing him away.

"Only for you," he winked and sauntered over to their bedroom.

This was home.

And he was happy.

-The End-

**AN:** and that is it. :) I hope you all enjoyed this one. I love taking overdone plots and twisting them a little :)

I have also noticed that I do not always get the reviews in my inbox (I found 6 I did not ever get _) So I am sorry to those I did not reply to. BTW, I also reside at Adultfanfiction under this name, and Mangabullet / Deviant art under **Alexhliel.** Basically, this site has the least amount of my dirty works. You want kink, go to MB of ADFAN.

**Special thanks to All reviewers**; really you make it worth all the trouble :) : Awesomenessknowsnobounds, ainsworth, Ash, AnimeYaoiFangirl100, bloodrippedcupcake, brightnight003, XxHeartlessKissxX, Captin of Sirius, Carottal, CatatonicVanity, Deadly Nightshade1395, Stone-Magnolia, theExorcist, goldenpaw, g-peachy-chan, Gurgicalcipher, IControlAllYaoi, Jeremiah Hawkins, foreverunloved, ForLaughter, I.P. Nightly, KuroChaos01, Kathrin J Pearl, Keono, LadyJoLee, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, Sabbie 3, SpadedHeart, ThornLeaf, theheartstourniquet, kikyotwosoul, Valentine's Vocation, Validate0, mattmelloizzyduff23, Randomly-Lame-Username, K

As promised here is the next fic: **Radio Nowhere**. I chose this over the other 3 completed and waiting fics simply because it is almost Halloween and well, this is SO a H-fic hahaha. I will let you in on a secret... this was started Sec 27th 2010 and completed months ago in 2011. XD That is why I needed more betas haha.

Even though I just picked up two betas, I will be posting the prologue edited only by me...because I want you to go read it :D


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